[KirisMum]

My daughter Kiri was diagnosed with Stage 2 IDC and DCIS in October 2010, successfully treated at Dana Farber with neoadjuvant chemo, surgery, chemo, radiation, herceptin, and tamoxifen. We thought she was in the clear until yesterday when she went for a CAT scan due to a lingering cough and cold. Turns out there is a nodule on her lung and spots on her liver, which they will schedule a biopsy for.

We are in shock and sick with fear and worry. We haven't even spoken to her yet; her boyfriend texted us during the wait in the hospital last night. He said she would call us this morning. She lives 300 miles away. She's 28. During her first bout, she kept us at arm's length, though I know she loves us. She called her brother here at home last night when she got the results. I imagine she feels somehow safer with him.

Not being in the loop is as painful, if not more painful, than our fears about the cancer, but I know she has to do what she has to do to keep herself sane. She's very independent, very focussed on her work (she's in her fourth year of her PhD program and very dedicated). I just wish she could include us more. I know I sound whiney and self-absorbed, but I am terrified and just want to be with her.

We won't know anything until we get the results of the biopsy. But it's not even information I want, just contact. Still, I don't want to put this kind of pressure on her; it seems terribly selfish, and she has so much more to deal with.

Thank you for being there. I'm sorry I've kept away, but once Kiri seemed to be in the clear, I just wanted to put the cancer behind us. :-'(