[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Right on, Ellie!

In 1980 I had a kidney stone the size of Texas. Or so the x-rays and the urologist told me. I was told the stone was too big to pass on my own. I needed surgery. I didn't want surgery. I vowed to try and pass it on my own.

The urologist was game. I saw the plastic form on his desk, our innards from a urological perspective. He showed me where the stone entered the urethra and where it was presently. He showed me the long route it had to take to exit.

There were 2 intersections where the passage would be very tight. Those would probably be when I would find myself on the floor (as I had the night it left my kidney). I had never found myself sprawled on the floor, only able to whisper, in knife-stabbing pain deep inside.

I moved forward with a totally positive attitude. I drank 10 glasses of water a day. And strained my urine to catch the sucker and have it analyzed. I envisioned the stone moving along it's course. I KNEW that when I felt extreme pain (vs general tenderness/pain and nausea/renal colic) -- that meant the stone was on the move!!! Which was my goal!!!

So instead of tightening up all my muscles in response to the awful pain, I let it be, so as not to obstruct the stone from moving. I was giving birth to the thing!

After a month, I added jumping rope, to help jar the stone along, with guided imagery (recalling the plastic figure on the doc's desk) and willing it to move.

I saw the urologist and it was determined that the stone had moved but not enough. I doubled my efforts.

At 10 wks -- I passed my stone. I captured it and brought it to my urologist. He had a smile from ear to ear, beaming! He was in stunned disbelief. He didn't really think it could be done. But had encouraged me, knowing it was my desire to avoid surgery.

When dx w/bc I never thought I could avoid the surgery. Or the chemotherapy. But I fully intended to meditate and use guided imagery to assist! I made my Intention and Expectation clear -- to my body (which hears everything we think, say and whisper) and follows our commands as it is programmed to do.

I also made my Intention and Expectation clear to the Universe. The energy I allowed to linger in my body and my mind was full of LOVE, COMPASSION, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, GRATITUDE AND AWE. Oh, and BELIEF in my power to call my desired goal to me.

I KNEW it already existed. I had to draw it to myself with the energy of my thoughts and images.

I KNEW that -- FEAR IS HUMANITY'S WORST ENEMY. Not the cancer, not your bodily dysfunction, or even pain. It's the FEAR such things generate in our hearts and thinking that cause us to become undone. Once we conquer the fear, we are on a path to victory.

The energy of negativity: Uncertainty, vulnerability, fragility, worry, dread and all the ugly details of those emotions (including visions we have) have to be sought out. We must troll our minds for any signs of such things, allow ourselves to momentarily experience them, and then consciously choose to reject them. They are toxins out to spoil our health and well-being.

And I do believe that positivity causes the immune system to function better.

Studies of those out of work, full of fear and worry, show T cell counts to continuously fall over months. Depression messes with your immune system. Sleepless nights interfere with your body's ability to repair itself.

And I do take some immune boosters, along with anti-oxidants to help keep my immune system at peak performance.

Loved your post, Ellie. So thoughtful and insightful!! Thank you for sharing with us all!
Andi