[fullofbeans]

I am glad many of you liked my post, I think I was almost posting it to myself. Indeed Mary Jo nothing is perfect. That said our worse enemy is our mind; and the word looser is not anodyne, well noticed. With cancer there is a significant part of society/alternative that feel that one is responsible for their cancer. I remember one of these therapist once asking me 'is there any reason why the cancer would serve you and you are holding on to it'. Truth my mum think it is my fault and once asked the oncologist I was visiting in France if it was not generated from my head.. it does not help and indeed would conjure the word looser.

there are a lot of broken dreams for everyone on this board . but indeed Alaskan Angel I do also think that being diagnosed younger brings more grief and for me the lack of family which I so wanted, and for those having children missing on the growing up and wanting to be there for them. There are always people worse off, I am able to write, eat and have a roof on my head.. that said we mostly and unconsciously compare oneself to our peer (friends/neighbour/family members), we are biologically meant to do that, which is why the younger bit is also difficult.. it is a hard for one to stop, but worth concentrating on and be aware, as peace can only be found in one's mind.

I have asked again to see if they can do something about my face edema and I am waiting to hear.. Thank you all and glad to have met some of you on this board, a great pleasure it was.