[Andrea Barnett Budin]

4th STAGERS ARE THE NEW FACE OF CANCER. Metastatic breast cancer does not mean the end of your story! Cancer is all about fear. With faith, we are each dedicated to annihilating the malignancies in our bodies. To retaliate with a vengence! And then find our way to living in joy and peace. A neat trick to master. WHO ARE LIFE'S VICTOR'S? The one's who reach for the impossible and KNOW they can do it. Who BELIEVE it. Envision it. It's surely no walk in the park, but it is doable. Having had the initial diagnosis, done surgery, chemo, radiation, experienced the full array of nasty side effects and THEN get nailed w/another diagnosis you feel demolished. Once you get past taking 10 steps backward, that you're up at bat again, you charge on as best you can. You know what you're facing all too well (with the treatment and the side effects), you know full well what's at stake -- and go forward anyway. If you're lucky, you go into remission. Become NED. Stable.

Then, you have to be alert to every weird symptom that pops up, every pain you have w/each new day -- and you have to do it all while not obsessing about your situation and feeling grateful for the gift of each day. Waking up and finding you're still breathing. Finding the delight in each day, rather than focusing on the fears and what ifs. You have to be responsibly and reasonably on guard at all times, and look like any one else going about their day. We have to be upbeat while feeling seriously tempted to freak out and succumbing to a panalopy of fears that naturally come with facing a life-threatening and insidious disease.

Some of us become Diarrhea Divas, have deep muscle pain in our arms and legs, severely dry eyes that tear incessantly, have nails that turn black as black can get and start to fall off, bloody noses, not to mention "complications". But we forge ahead -- knowing you must do the thing you think you cannot do. Knowing that the bravest people are those who have a clear image of what is before them, and yet, go out to meet it! That we are more than we can imagine. WE ARE CAPABLE OF THE UNIMAGINABLE.

Cancer transforms us and enhances our lives in immeasurable ways. We see more keenly, we appreciate everything most definitely, we love more easily, we become aware of the bigness of the little things. We evolve and grow and become more than we were yesterday. And we share that with all who are in our lives and who we chance upon.

Sending loving thoughts to all you beautiful, special Spirits... ANDI