[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Hi Cat,

I hear you. I was just where you are now in '98 (when my 4th stage bc spread throughout my liver). After my initial dx/mastec/tram flap reconst ('95) I received loads of beautiful flowers, heaps of books and an outpouring of love and support. I was 50 yrs old. Way too young to die, I kept thinking.

I'd read Dr. Mitchell Gaynor's book (one of the stacks of books I'd received). It was 5 AM and I'd gone into the bathroom to read, not to wake my husband. With the lid down, I sat and read. On the 1st page I was covered in goosebumps. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO LIVE! Dr. Gaynor is an integrative oncologist, including meditation, guided imagery and sound therapy. He is an expert in all and most especially in nutritional supplements. I call him my nut onc.

He is not your average brilliant onc (I had accrued about 5 between NY and Fla where I lived at that time).

He totally believes in the mind/body connection -- WHEN THE MIND SPEAKS THE BODY LISTENS is a thread I started, you may want to find (if it isn't on page 1 -- it's on page 2 of the threads). I'd had personal experiences with 2 yrs of debilitating back pain, when my kids were young and really needed me 24/7. Also when I had a kidney stone the size of Texas that I refused surgery to remove and used my mind. And gallons of water to help move it along. I personally experienced the power of our minds and it was AWESOME!

So on tx in '98 my oncs all said -- wait to take the supplements -- which mainstream docs just don't know much about and don't trust. I repeated this to my nut onc and he said, rather passionately -- NO! DURING TX IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME, THE TIME YOUR BODY MOST NEEDS HELP TO COPING WITH THE SIDE EFFECTS OF TX!!!!

My Inner Voice told me that made perfect sense. I tend to listen to my docs direction, but in this case, with my gut feeling so strongly against what they were saying -- and it being MY LIFE we were talking about -- I bravely chose to take the long list of supplements, every one, that my nut onc recommended.

I KNOW it helped me get through the ravaging effects of Taxotere! I KNOW it helped me stop the shingles I acquired about 1 mnth into that tx (my immune system being so compromised). Generally shingles can last mnths, even yrs. I was firmly told I COULD NOT RECEIVE CHEMO WHILE I HAD THE SHINGLES. I knew I had less than a 15% chance of living for a year, 5 yrs tops. I planned on living till I was 100, and in good health with a sharp mind!!

I took more supplements targeting the Shingles virus. And in 10 days I returned to my oncs office. How are you doing?, he smiled and asked congenially. I'd known him for 3 yrs and we were close. He had 3 dghtrs and empathized perhaps even too much w/my situation(s).

I'm good, I said. He almost laughed I could see. He said, Let's have a look. I was seated on the exam table. My husband in a chair by my side, as always. I lifted my shirt. My onc circled me, checking out my torso, and was amazed. You're right! All the pustules have scabbed over and healed up. You can have chemo today if you want.

I wish you the very best, Cat. I almost said best of luck. But I believe we help create our own luck with knowledge, insight, unwavering fortitude, positivity, self talk (talking to your body and leaving commands for it to get its' act together), an open mind and an open heart.

I am sending you Love and Light. Please keep us all posted on your journey. Sharing is what this fabulous site is all about. We are here to help one another and grow...

Andi