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MCS · 08-31-2006, 12:01 PM

Michelle,
I'm so sorry to hear about not only yours but the others' problems.

I'm not an expert on this. My only contribution is that unofrtunately I see a little of myself in all of our comments.

BC is hell. I think that if you are older and one of the spouses get ill, it's natural progression of life. When BC hits, it's usually mid life, when everything goes awry anyway - Physicallly and emotionally. Kids are not babies, there is not the adventure or mystery of newlywed.

And yet, I have a herceptin partner that husband left her after only one year of marriage, during which she found she had cancer. He couldn't handle it. I told her that God blessed her getting rid of him.

I just "celebrated" my 25th when my father passed away. Grabs you?

My 20th, my mother in law passed away.

So even though we are together, we have not been able to celebrate these long years together.

My 50th bday, laying down in sofa from chemo.

Vacations are not relaxing, it's like a must to make sure we all have family time.

You are lucky that your mother supports you in your illness or what's going on. My mother cannot discuss with me anything. I have to rely on friends, support groups, all of you.

My heart goes out to all of us. I feel we are all so sick and yet we have to maintain this Barbie, perky attitude towards it all. So that honesty sometimes just cannot happen.

Teenagers, i have a 21 and 18. And they know I'm sick but yet they are into themselves and thier lives. The optimism of youth. That leaves me out cold sometimes but then also would not want them miserable because I'm sick.

I used to work in a powerful position with lots of financial responsibility under me and people to manage and now I'm home because I was laid off and I am so tired I cannot work in the same category. So I lost self esteem, some weeks, my best job is to keep the blinds clean.

There's also lack of sexual intimacy as before bc. We lost our breasts, hair, libido, we are tired, lose self esteem, we are dry as a desert, etc. Come on give me a break here!

I hate to admit this, but I have told my husband that I don't know if I will survive this illness, or our marriage will survive if I get sicker or there's not positive things to look forward and I have even told him that I will not discuss things with him about this illness- guess who, you ladies hear it! Maybe this is not the right approach but are keeping things at bay.

You know, I will say your name in prayer, together with all of the rest. These are nasty, ugly times. But you have to do what's best for you. It's not your issue- remember that. Don't feel guilty about doing things for yourself, but I know how it is.

Ahhh! The horses sound wonderful, I wish I had that. See you're lucky to have them. Hell, talk to them!

XOXO

MCS (maria)

08-31-2006, 12:01 PM	#18
MCS Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 430	Michelle, I'm so sorry to hear about not only yours but the others' problems. I'm not an expert on this. My only contribution is that unofrtunately I see a little of myself in all of our comments. BC is hell. I think that if you are older and one of the spouses get ill, it's natural progression of life. When BC hits, it's usually mid life, when everything goes awry anyway - Physicallly and emotionally. Kids are not babies, there is not the adventure or mystery of newlywed. And yet, I have a herceptin partner that husband left her after only one year of marriage, during which she found she had cancer. He couldn't handle it. I told her that God blessed her getting rid of him. I just "celebrated" my 25th when my father passed away. Grabs you? My 20th, my mother in law passed away. So even though we are together, we have not been able to celebrate these long years together. My 50th bday, laying down in sofa from chemo. Vacations are not relaxing, it's like a must to make sure we all have family time. You are lucky that your mother supports you in your illness or what's going on. My mother cannot discuss with me anything. I have to rely on friends, support groups, all of you. My heart goes out to all of us. I feel we are all so sick and yet we have to maintain this Barbie, perky attitude towards it all. So that honesty sometimes just cannot happen. Teenagers, i have a 21 and 18. And they know I'm sick but yet they are into themselves and thier lives. The optimism of youth. That leaves me out cold sometimes but then also would not want them miserable because I'm sick. I used to work in a powerful position with lots of financial responsibility under me and people to manage and now I'm home because I was laid off and I am so tired I cannot work in the same category. So I lost self esteem, some weeks, my best job is to keep the blinds clean. There's also lack of sexual intimacy as before bc. We lost our breasts, hair, libido, we are tired, lose self esteem, we are dry as a desert, etc. Come on give me a break here! I hate to admit this, but I have told my husband that I don't know if I will survive this illness, or our marriage will survive if I get sicker or there's not positive things to look forward and I have even told him that I will not discuss things with him about this illness- guess who, you ladies hear it! Maybe this is not the right approach but are keeping things at bay. You know, I will say your name in prayer, together with all of the rest. These are nasty, ugly times. But you have to do what's best for you. It's not your issue- remember that. Don't feel guilty about doing things for yourself, but I know how it is. Ahhh! The horses sound wonderful, I wish I had that. See you're lucky to have them. Hell, talk to them! XOXO MCS (maria)