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to all in this support group. Thank you all for the important info, I searched so long to find a site that could relate and be informative about herceptin, and Thank God I found it. I just want to tell you about myself then my philosophy on my cancer.
I started in 1995 w/microcalcifications and for 10 years every year I would get the same report, no cancer, benign condition, recommend annual mammo's. Well in 2006, I started to hurt in my right boob and nipple. I was just past menopause, so I wasn't sure that what I was feeling was part of the hormones still kicking around. Some told me to go for an exam early so I made the apt and told the dr. what I felt, he ordered a mamo and after exam told me he felt nothing and go get fitted for larger bra. He felt that I had soft tissue there and the bra was pushing my nipple in. SO I went for the mammo and got fitted for new bras. I still felt the discomfort and then I started to notice my nipple was sinking. I got the result of the mamo which no change from all the other years, but now I noticed a tiny drop of blood inside my bra, I immediately made an apt with a surgeon who told me he was going to do a nipple biopsy right away. The biop was done Aug 30 and he called me that I had DCIS. Stage 0 he told me, I did NOT have cancer. HUH??? Anyway thank God he decided to send me to a cancer hospital for 2nd opinion. They read the same biopsy smears and the same mammogram film and found that I did have a 5cm cluster, I went for a stero tactical biop and it confirmed invasive breast cancer. I was to have a mastectomy in Nov and got it done without any complications and no lymph involvement. The biop from the mastec came back that I had HER2 NEU 3+++ and er and pr negative my stage was 1 and I was class 3 FISH. I went in with a positive attitude and no one could believe how good I was doing. I met my onc dr. and she told me because of
the grade 3 and invasive cancer, DCIS and paget's of the nipple, and being her 3+ and er/pr neg I would have to have 6 months of chemo, started 12/15/06 @ 3 wk intervals ac/dc and taxol then taxol and herceptin every week for 6 weeks, and now I am on only herceptin every 3 weeks until end of dec. Well I skated t hrough with the normal but not excessive side effects the most troubling being the steroids they gave me, I didn't do well on them at all. Bloating/gastric distress/enlarged liver/had to be put on insulin/neuropathy and sinus infections and insomnia. I was one sick pup, but felt not as bad as some people. I continue to have a good attitude, but this is the problem. Now that I am done the chemo and am almost done the herceptin, I feel
anxious/jittery/nervous and have a terrible time sleeping. I eat good, but feel very tired. My sugar is normal with insulin, but I now don't have such a good attitude anymore. This doesn't compute in my mind. Everyone and everything bothers me more than ususal. I don't want to talk to one of my friends who has NOT been supportive in the way I felt she should be, because she just doesn't think I am THAT sick. And she had a serious illness 2 years ago and was gravely ill, but not with cancer and she thinks that her and my illnesses are very simular. It was just as hard on her husband to deal with her illness as it is for mine to deal w/my mastectomy.
I don't like talking to her anymore and then I feel guilty about how I feel because I am sure she doesn't mean it the way I take it. I am grateful that I found this support group because you truly do understand where I am going and where I have been. And nobody else really does. I do have a very supportive husband, and best friend of 50 years and for them I thank God. But do you think it is normal for me to feel this way now that I am getting down to the end of the treatment.
I feel that I don't want to worry about my treatment or anything else because that is what I have a doctor for, and if there was anything to worry about she would tell me. Therefore, I will live my life day by day and I feel that I will not ever be me the way I was prior to bc, I can only be me the way I am now and in the future. Is that wrong?
Thank you for listening.
Mary
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