[rhondalea]

I'm not so sure the staging matters, Linn. Technically speaking, only those who were first diagnosed at Stage 4 are Stage 4. Those who metastasize remain at the stage of their original diagnosis, with the addition of "with metastatic disease."

You had a recurrence, so you need additional treatment to make it go away, as well as to prevent further spread. I think that for someone with HER2 positive cancer, that would certainly be Herceptin/Perjeta infusions every 3 weeks, even if it were a purely local recurrence. Having a Stage 4 diagnosis from your doctor--for whatever reason, even if it's not technically correct and it creates puzzlement for everyone--means that you may be entitled to certain governmental benefits (you should look into that), but it's certainly not a death sentence, and as a practical matter, it doesn't change your treatment or what you need to do to get beyond it.

For what it's worth--without regard for the technical constraints of staging--my vote is with the 3C crowd. But as I said, you may find Stage 4 useful, and it certainly doesn't not mean you are doomed.