[mamacze]

Awww, Tammy, what a lousy few weeks you have had...chock full of all those only-human kind of fears that haunt and haunt. And as a mom myself; remembering the trauma of the days when I could barely crawl across a room; forget about walk across it; for me it was really about the kids. I wonder if it is the same for you. You are feeling so so sick. You hate for the kids you adore to see you feeling so tired and sick and are loathe to even think about the unthinkable....
"I just hope you guys have some insight I wonder if it is time to call it quits or if that is even my call to make do i keep going as long as the onc is willing to treat"

Every single one of us (who has read your gutsy and honest thoughts) wants to rush into your home, scoop you up and hold you. Comfort you. Get on the floor and play with your beautiful kids. And I bet you are just too darn tired to think outside the box for yet another treatment or another approach.

You are struggling with your faith. And who wouldn't, right? Where is the justice (I am fond of shouting in my daily prayers). Spiritual counseling with a nun (and I am not Catholic) was a huge help for me. Maybe it is an option in your area.

Rely on your sister's here for the wisdom of their experience. Michka, Sarah, Chrisy all have good advice. My only two cents to add is that I would consider sending a biopsy for a tumor profile to see if your tumor has a mutation that matches to an approved treatment.

In the meantime; rest- knowing all of your Her2 sisters here would rush in your house and scoop you up and take care of you in a jack rabbit minute if we were neighbors; but since we live in the hinterlands, we are holding you up in prayer and meditation and love instead.
Stay with us and keep us informed on your path.
Love and hugs, and love and hugs,
Kim (from CT)