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NEDenise · 05-14-2013, 10:54 AM

Amanda,
I'm sorry...somehow I missed the post about the passing of your friends. Just what you needed...
I'm so sorry for your pain and your loss. Beyond the emptiness their deaths leave...I'm sure their passing is an unwelcome reminder of your own struggles, and mortality. I know that's how the loss of loved ones affects me these days.

And, I'm even more saddened about your daughter and the pain she's in. My eldest is having a tough time right now too...but he's 15, not 8...so I don't think it's anywhere near as hard to watch as yours.
For my son, I think the way I look (not at all like the Mom he's used to seeing), and the fact that I'm totally exhausted all the time are really getting to him. He can't be near me without being reminded that I'm 'sick'. Of course, he's known I was sick for over 2 years now, but now he sees it every time he looks at me. And, he's old enough and smart enough to know that this is not like aynthing else I've had to face. For the first time...I think he's worried I might die on him...and it shows.

I applaud your decision to engage a therapist for your daughter. It can only help IMHO. Once again...I just want to say what a caring, involved, top-notch Mom I think you are! She's lucky to have you...and I agree...you're lucky to have her too. She very likely is trying to teach you something...though she's probably not even aware of what it is yet...or why. The ups ad downs of this cancer nightmare are hard enough on US...it just SUCKS that we can't shield our families from it...especially the little ones.

I'm looking forward to hearing about the innovative new plan you and your onc decide on. I'm just not willing to to believe that you're out of luck, any more than I am to think I am. We both have too much fight still left in us. I'm hoping Avastin is my magic bullet, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your magic bullet is coming back from ASCO with your doc!

Sending love and healing light to you and your precious daughter!
Denise

PS - as a teacher...with more than 25 years in a classroom...I can tell you with great authority that sometimes 'at home' is where kids need to be. I call them mental health holidays...and being with Mom is more important than ANYTHING that happens during any given school day. I also have very radical ideas about homework if you're ever interested!

05-14-2013, 10:54 AM	#38
NEDenise Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Philly Suburbs Posts: 1,709	Re: More Progression Amanda, I'm sorry...somehow I missed the post about the passing of your friends. Just what you needed... I'm so sorry for your pain and your loss. Beyond the emptiness their deaths leave...I'm sure their passing is an unwelcome reminder of your own struggles, and mortality. I know that's how the loss of loved ones affects me these days. And, I'm even more saddened about your daughter and the pain she's in. My eldest is having a tough time right now too...but he's 15, not 8...so I don't think it's anywhere near as hard to watch as yours. For my son, I think the way I look (not at all like the Mom he's used to seeing), and the fact that I'm totally exhausted all the time are really getting to him. He can't be near me without being reminded that I'm 'sick'. Of course, he's known I was sick for over 2 years now, but now he sees it every time he looks at me. And, he's old enough and smart enough to know that this is not like aynthing else I've had to face. For the first time...I think he's worried I might die on him...and it shows. I applaud your decision to engage a therapist for your daughter. It can only help IMHO. Once again...I just want to say what a caring, involved, top-notch Mom I think you are! She's lucky to have you...and I agree...you're lucky to have her too. She very likely is trying to teach you something...though she's probably not even aware of what it is yet...or why. The ups ad downs of this cancer nightmare are hard enough on US...it just SUCKS that we can't shield our families from it...especially the little ones. I'm looking forward to hearing about the innovative new plan you and your onc decide on. I'm just not willing to to believe that you're out of luck, any more than I am to think I am. We both have too much fight still left in us. I'm hoping Avastin is my magic bullet, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your magic bullet is coming back from ASCO with your doc! Sending love and healing light to you and your precious daughter! Denise PS - as a teacher...with more than 25 years in a classroom...I can tell you with great authority that sometimes 'at home' is where kids need to be. I call them mental health holidays...and being with Mom is more important than ANYTHING that happens during any given school day. I also have very radical ideas about homework if you're ever interested!