[chrisy]

Well, TDM1 did not turn out to be MY cure, but that doesn't mean that it won't be for somebody, particularly in combination with something else. We just don't know. I still believe that cure is possible, and that all the pieces may even be out there already but just not assembled properly yet. And of course, everyone is different.

Your situation may be very different in that your recurrence seems to be more localized.

I won't lie, I was majorly bummed when after 3 years on tdm1 the cancer recurred. On the other hand I had thought I'd never see NED again yet I did. And maybe he'll be back again and stay longer or maybe forever. I still believe this is possible.

My second choice (and I do realize its not necessarily up to me!) is to get the cancer under control and be able to keep it under control, managing it as more of a chronic condition with minimal impact to my quality of life. Despite the setbacks I experienced last year, I believe this is possible, and this is the goal of my rock star oncology team (although they won't mind a bit if I'm accidentally cured instead!). I guess instead of "cure", for me TDM1 turned out to be a great maintenance therapy which kept things under control with great QOL for 3+ years.

I get what you are asking...it is the same question my hubby asked my onc back in 2004: how can people ever live with this? (the mental, not the physical coping). Her wise answer was, with a slight shrug, "you just do".
The spirit piece of this whole thing is in many ways the hardest part. It is not something a doctor can infuse. Those who love you can help but so much of the battle is just you harnessing whatever you can to strengthen your spirit; keeping faith and being resilient. Repeatedly, over a long period of time.

Will you learn to do this?... Yes, you just do.

Hang in there.