[Lucy]

Rina - I'm so sorry for the experience you've had. It was a year ago that I was told that I had abnormal cells in my breast and needed a biopsy to determine whether I had cancer or not. I made the decision right then that if I did have cancer, I wanted a double mastectomy without reconstruction. When I was told I did in fact have cancer, that's what I told anyone who would listen to me. And that's what I did. I did listen to doctors who discussed the possibility of reconstruction but I never saw a plastic surgeon because it would've meant delaying the mastectomy and that was my number one priority from being told I had cancer. Plus, at no time was I giving serious consideration to reconstruction. Now, while I don't regret my decision (nor do I have second thoughts about it), there are things that come into play that some times get me down about it. For example, I'm single and would like to date again some day. On what date do you bring up the fact that you don't have breasts? It's going to scare off some fellas and I don't want to be too attached if they're going to react badly but I don't think it's necessarily first date conversation either. Then, a few months ago I was watching a talk show when some celebrity came out in this beautiful dress. I was imagining making a much cheaper version of the dress for myself when I realized that my prosthetics would probably be showing in the dress because it was a little low cut. It bothered me, not for long but it did bother me. One aspect of not having breasts that I like is that I have the choice of what size I will be on a given day. Right now I only have one set of prosthetics but I envision having many pairs in various sizes and having some fun with them. I know the decision I made isn't for everyone and ultimately you're the one that has to live with whatever decision you make but for me I feel that having no breasts gives me more options. The bottom line is you don't have to rush a decision here, take your time and decide what it is you want and what you can live with. Once you know what that is, then you can act on it.