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When I was first diagnosed, I went into an "OMG! Who is gonna take care of my kids when I'm dead?!" depression. I would cry all the time and for no reason in particular, except the thoughts and fears consumed my every waking moment...and the ones whenI should've been sleeping. The best and worst thing I did was get on the internet, pull out all my nursing books, and start researching. Most, if not all of it, was frightening to say the least, but looking back now, 7 months since diagnosis, it was the only control I had over this disease at the time and it answered many of my questions that the oncologist didn't take the time to explain in depth during my first appointments. The best and only good part about being her2+ is that I found this site and all the knowledge and experience here.
Also, I've found that those around you want to support you, but cancer carries a stigma that death is imminent and that's just not true. I had great friends avoid me in the corridors at work, but at the same time, complete strangers have walked up to me and hugged me, wishing me all the luck in the world.
It's easier for me to look at breast cancer as a chronic disease, like diabetes. With the right care and treatment, healthy habits, and good support and medical care, we can live with this disease...and I mean live, as in thrive, not just getting by. Some days you may have to take one day at a time, but the diagnosis itself is no reason to quit life.
Nuff on that :P
Diagnosed at 36...
Found a tender lump between my breast and armpit while rolling over in bed on 7/29/06. AUG. 8, 2006
Core needle bx showing DCIS grade 2
AUG. 24 2006
1.5 cm IDC grade 3(9/9) HER/2+ (amplified, 2.5), ER <10 %, PR negative
w/ grade 3 (9/9) DCIS AND LOBULAR CA TO LUMPECTOMY MARGINS. Right breast clear
OCT. 4 2006
BILATERAL MASTECTOMY 16 of 16 NEG NODES Decided to have bilat mastectomy to reduce chance of recurrence in right breast since lobular ca was also found in left breast.
STARTED AC NOV. 4 2006- blood counts have been great, even at my worst
Finished AC January 8!!!!!! Had PET and bone scans late January due to liver function tests elevations, both were clear. Started weekly Herceptin and taxol January 29th and I went back to work February 4th. I feel great, except some mild rib, sternum, and wrist pain. I start tamoxifen after taxol completed and am considering oopherectomy later in the year. From where I stand now, I wouldn't have done anything differently. Life is good and I intend to make sure it stays that way.
I know this is long, but I'm windy, what can i say??:P
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