Unfortunately, my cancer recurred only a few months after my last herceptin and had grown large, so that 6 months assurance doesn't apply to me.
It's funny - I've never been nervous. Not when first diagnosed and not when told I was Stage Iv. It's now, when I have a chance for actual cure, that I am nervous. I guess it make sense if you think about it - I don't want to mess the cure up.
I'm trying to think very positively as I have always done, and I try to use language that says I'm healed. Truth is, I want that drip as assurance and 2 months is a long time considering what I know about how fast my cancer grows. That means too, I must not have much faith in the cure the doctors just tried to give me, which means my attempts at considering myself a normal person who can have a long life is not internalized.
I even thought about getting a tat to make myself remember every day that I'm healed. But, to be truthful, I don't really like tattoos.
I thought about getting this bracelet:
http://www.zales.com/product/index.j...uctId=11166494 with the words "Cure" "Heal" "Prevail" as a reminder.
It's funny, it was very easy for me to slide into Stage IV mode much harder to get out of it. Especially because I know the chances aren't great I'll be cured - but some women are? Why not me?
__________________
http://butdoctorihatepink.com
08/17/09 Dx'd.
Multifocal/multicentric IDC, largest 3.4 cm, associated ADH, LCIS, DCIS
HER2+ ER+/PR- Grade 3, Node Negative
10/20/2009: Right mastectomy, reconstruction with TE
12/02/2009: Six rounds TCH, switched to Taxol halfway through due to neuropathy
03/31/2010: Finished chemo
05/01/2010: Began tamoxifen, the worst drug ever
11/18/2010: Reconstruction completed
12/02/2010: Finished herceptin
05/21/2011: Liver Mets. Quit Tamoxifen
06/22/2011: Navelbine/Zometa/Herceptin
10/03/2011: Liver Resection, left lobe. Microwave ablation, right lobe - going for cure!
11/26/2011: C-Diff Superbug Infection, "worst case doctor had seen in 20 years"
03/28/2012: Progression in ablated section of the liver - no more cure. Started Abraxane, continue herceptin/zometa
10/10/2012: Progression continues, started Halaven, along with herceptin and zometa.
01/15/2013: Progression continues, started Gemzar and Perjeta, an unusual combo, continuing with herceptin and zometa
03/13/2013: Quit Gemzar, body just won't handle it. Staying on herceptin, zometa and perjeta.
04/03/2013: CT shows 50% regression in tumor, so am starting back on Gemzar with dose reduction, staying with perjeta/herceptin/zometa. Can't argue with success!
05/09/2013: Discussing SBRT with Radiology due to inability of bone marrow to recover from chemo.
06/07/2013: Fiducial placement for SBRT
07/03/2013: Chemo discontinued, on Perjeta, Herceptin and Zometa alone
07/25/2013: SBRT (gamma knife) begins
08/01/2013: SBRT completed
08/15/2013: STABLE! continuing with Perjeta, Herceptin, Zometa
06/18/2014: ***** NED!!!!***** continuing with Perjeta, Herceptin, Zometa
01/29/2014: Still NED. continuing with Perjeta, Herceptin. Zometa lowered to every 3 months instead of monthly.
11/08/2015: Progression throughout abdomen and lungs. Started TDM-1, aka Kadcyla. Other meds discontinued. Remission was nice while it lasted.
5/27/18: Stable. Kadcyla put me right back in the barn. I have two teeny spots on my lungs that are metabolically inactive, and liver is clean.
I’m beating this MFer. I was 51 when this started and had two kids, 22 and 12. Now I’m 60. My oldest got married and trying to start s family. My youngesg graduates from Caltech this June. My stepdaughter gave me grandkids. Life is fantastic.