[jacqueline1102]

When I was diagnosed I felt incredible guilt and shame. I was used to being the "go to" person and being in the "sick" role was difficult and still is. I had only been married 3 months when I was diagnosed with Stage IV Inflammatory breast cancer. Our lives are not the same and never will be. It is what it is. My husband and I talk about it even if it makes him sad and uncomfortable. The trauma of the disease and the losses that you have had are indeed difficult for you and him. If he will not accompany you to counseling, you could read some books together if he would be open to it. Oftentimes, the person diagnosed with the disease barrels through the treatment, whereas the family members are still left reeling. If your husband is still in the thought process of losing you, connecting intimately physically or emotionally will be challenging for him. There is a ton of material on the subject of cancer and marriage. The trauma of losing your child is yet another trauma. In the field of mental health there is such a term as complicated grief. This may be coming up now that you are both in place of physical strength which can allow the difficult but necessary work of emotionally healing.

Take care,

Jackie