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Old 06-07-2007, 04:54 PM   #23
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Wink Didn't Mean To Stir Up Such Negative Energy!

It distresses me that you who are outraged feel that way. Can't we just agree to disagree. Not take it personally? Not feel the need to fight. Every word I post is sent with loving energy, in the hopes of being inspiring, yes thought-provoking but never to stir up anger. That is so shocking to me. Why do you think those of you who felt so offended by the idea that we are so empowered?

I do not claim responsibility for causing my bc, but see the line that connects the dots, now in hindsight. It was amazing, yet I felt no guilt. I knew I would never do anything to hurt anyone, especially myself. I am a pacifist through and through. Maybe if you were threatening someone I loved dearly I might come at you, but otherwise... Just not an angry person. Esp since bc.

Much more willing to listen and learn, or reject, views. Politics -- I stay clear. There I become passionate. But otherwise, we each have our views. Most people I email, off this board, tell me they carry my messages with them in their pocketbooks or keep them in a pile on their night stand for easy access. Some times during the day they return to my words for strength in getting through their battle. This thrills me, obviously, as my intent is always to do just that. They treasure my words. I am saddended by those who reacted so vehemently. I still send you loving energy, and pray you will calm yourself and find your connection to your spiritual essence, at your core. We are here to support one another. I have NEVER gotten such opposition. Guess you're very strong minded, though many I communicate w/are precisely that yet "get" it. So sorry if you don't. Just promise you won't go feeling guilty. And to all who've fought and lost the struggle, I do not know why they were taken but I love and miss them. I can't see why from my perspective, but they fought hard and somehow lost anyway. Would love to figure it out, but maybe it's not something those of us on the Physical Plane are able to see, sadly. It appears that it's just not fair, makes no sense, but I have faith that their is a Divine Intelligence with a Plan and purpose, beyond our ability to grasp.

Meantime, keep doing what you know, stay strong, brave and determined and feel as much joy and serenity as you possibly can. Each day is a gift. Those on this board know this well. Not a single day goes by that I don't say thank you with all my heart. Out loud. PEACEFUL THOUGHTS TO YOU ALL... ANDI
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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