[kvogler]

Well, it will be a year in August since my treatments ended and I'm starting to feel like I'm living again. This first year of post-treatment has been rough. I made the decision to leave my nonsupportive husband with my 2 year-old daughter to an apartment of our own. I've been on here in the past lamenting my diagnosis to some of you, but you know, a big part of my depression was more from the lack of love in my marriage. It was bad. I could gripe for hours about all the jerky things he did but I'll spare you. But I will share one thing he said that proved to me that he just "doesn't get it." When I told him I'd had enough of his antics and I was moving out, he looked at me and said "the cancer won." What a load of crap. Had the cancer won, I would have stayed in that miserable marriage thinking I didn't have a choice and should settle. By me going out on my own with the help of my friends, I'm showing that I have hope and that I'm going to make the most of what time I have left no matter what anyone thinks. Now, I'm getting out and doing more than ever before because I don't feel like I have to justify myself to him anymore or avoid things that would make him scornful. I'm going out for walks with my daughter, taking her to the local gym to learn to swim, doing things that I enjoy. My life is better now. His not so much since he doesn't have my salary now to live off of. Cancer won--yeah, right. He can keep telling himself that. Jerk.