[Tom]

Dear Chelee,

I am sorry you are having to endure the arrogance of doctors along withj your BC. Over the years of having family member after family member face cancer, and watching the way they were "handled" by various diciplines of medical staff, I have come to one conclusion.

For some reason, be it the intense training physicians go through during their schooling, the long hours they work, or the nature of the personalities that choose to become doctors, they are arrogant and guarded. In today's world, this simply will not stand for many patients.

The solution I have used to combat this problem, is fear. THEIR fear. I hated to adopt such a strategy, but it became necessary. There are many ways to instill this bit of "insurance" in your doctors. The first is through information. If you ask the right questions, at the right time, and use the right language (technical, not obscene...lol), you will see a marked change in the way you are treated.

Each time I met a new doctor for Mom, I would calmly recite her entire medical history, some of it from before I was born, using the language of doctors. Heart issues are always "cardiac concerns". Anything with the liver, "hepatic concerns". Heart murmurs are "valvular insufficiencies". Get it now? I was not trying to be a show off, but simply let them wonder "who I was", and if I might be someone that would recognize poor treatment or mistakes when I saw them. If you speak their language, you leave little room for them to ignore your concerns. Many a doctor has asked me, "are you in medicine". My reply is always the same. No, I just am not amused by professional sports, and choose to read instead. The looks are priceless.

My suggestion is this: get yourself a decent medical dictionary, and an easy to read anatomy book with lots of pictures that describe the major systems of the body. Buy a copy of Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book. Make yourself a nice cup of green tea at night and cuddle up with those books. Not only are they fascinating, but they will give you a basic knowledge of how these "skin suits" we drag around all day actually function. Most of all, come to this site every day and READ UNTIL YOU ARE BLIND. This site is absolutely invaluable as a source of information and personal experience. I am addicted to it, and if I have to buy a wireless laptop for travelling, I am gonna send the bill to Joe and Christine. What were they thinking...lol?

Next, tell ALL of your doctors that you want copies of ALL of your test results when they arrive, no matter how small or seemingly routine they are. This includes either hard copies or CD-ROMs of your diagnostic studies. Keep a copy of all of your blood tests that are taken right before chemo visits. Keep all of this in a ring binder, and carry it with you whenever you go to the doctor. NEVER sit through an appointment without a notepad and pen in your hand. Listen carefully during the visit, and take notes. Ask him or her to slow down when they are giving you information if need be. Date EVERYTHING you write down.

Ask, no INSIST, that your doctors describe in detail the treatment plans each has in mind, and include all of the phases of your treatment. Separate the various aspects of your treatment, i.e. surgery, radiation, chemo, integrative. Make SURE that each doctor understands what the other has in mind for you. Many of these doctors don't know each other personally, and may never meet other than over the phone if even then.

Finally, after they find themselves thinking about your case at night when they go to bed, be firm but pleasant. If you can do and say things that make you doctor review your case in his or her own mind from time to time, perhaps in fear of making a career-ending, new inground pool-cancelling, medical mistake, you have done your job and will receive better treatment. It's a shame that it has to be this way, but as I have explained to doctors before, they have too many patients to treat properly, and too little time to make their decisions because of patient loads. Usually the last time the doctor thought anything about your case, was five minutes before your last visit, when the nurse dropped your case file into the clear plastic basket hanging from the exam room door. I HATE those #%*&@# baskets anyway. I always hook my arm on them when I leave the room...lol. Good luck and let us know what's going on. Take care.

Tom