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Hi Barbara:
I am sorry to hear about your loss of sex drive.
It has happened to me as well. I think that the chemo combo (I took A/C plus taxol) does something to the hormones that completely kills the sex drive and the ability to have enjoyable sex. I also believe that it is a very common side effect based on annecdotal conversations that I have had on line and with other women in our position. I realize that it isn't a side effect that is listed from the chemo, but women's sexual issues are in general under-reported and seldom scientifically examined....did you know for instance that it is only a few years ago that a master's anatomy student in Canada mapped the blood vessels and nerve endings of the vagina and clitorus for her thesis? It had NEVER been done before..........NEVER before published. The penis of course has been mapped for about 40 years.
I went to quite extensive lengths researching this issue. One of the reasons that it isn't being explored is that many women blame themselves or their "head space" or their surgery. They rationalize it away by saying.....well because I am in menopause......Or they are too embarassed to report it.
I went to a sex specialist at my cancer clinic, and she told me that she sees a lot of breast cancer patients. Their stories are remarkably similar. I have also spoken frankly with many women who state that sex for them is down right painful and/or that they just "endure" for the partner's sake.
The sex specialist prescribed "estradial" for me. This resolves the vaginal lubrication problem. She also prescribed "methiltestosterone" which is supposed to help elevate the labido. This didn't work for me.
We are going to try a different type of testosterone that is more natural but to a small extent metabalizes into estrogen. (I am willing to take this small risk as I have done extensive research on it) I have been advised not to have a lot of hope in this regards. There is also the possibility that viagra might help. Almost anything that the sex specialist can suggest or prescribe is both off-lable and experimental within a women's context. There is just no research. She has told me there are virtually no doctors available in the world with her particular speciality.......women's sexal health/libido issues......and that there is a desperate crying need. All of the medication that she has tried with me is actually meant for men. I just take it at MUCH lower doses that must be mixed at a special compounding pharmacy.
I am now 2.5 years out of chemo. I thought that time would heal, but apparently not. I have so little interest in sex that even when I discovered a new book by my favourite romance writer, I ended up not finishing it. Completely booring. Masterbation is a waste of time.
Don't blame yourself. If your want a more specific conversation, I would be happy to correspond with you by email.
Best of luck,
Merridith
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