[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

for your replies. I appreciate your comments so much. I don't know how much of an inspiration I have been (although I try) but I do know that I am a fighter and even though each time I get a recurrence it knocks me back a few feet, I do try to get back my balance and control over this as quickly as I can.

This might seem secondary, but we have had a trip to Italy planned for the last year and are now in limbo as to if we can still make it. Our trip is planned for August 23 thru Sept. 26. We are so looking forward to this trip that it is all I could dream about. Coming from an Italian background, we just want to mingle in with the people and relax and get all of this illness off of our minds. My poor husband has been through Hell himself being my caregiver, so this trip is kind of special to him too.

All this making my decison even harder, if I decide on the Tykerb/Xeloda trial- they are both pill forms so I could possibly travel with the drugs (if they show to be working and I don't show progression) If I choose the Tykerb/Herceptin trial I have to have the Herceptin weekly so may not be able to be away. If I choose the Avastin (which the concept of how it works sounds promising) that's an infusion also. I understand that Avastin has only been approved for colorectal cancer so am wondering if I can even get approved to take . The fustration is not knowing (and no one knows this) which one would work best without wasting any time since my tumors are growing. I am having tumor markers drawn next Tues. and see my onc. on Wed. and I will discuss further with her.

Like I said, the trip being as important as it is to us, is secondary to my life and I have access to a trial in my area, so I dont want to sound like I am whinning - I guess I am just "sharing" my fustrations of all of these years
with ladies who truly understand what it is like and for this I am truly so grateful to have all of you. I love you all....

thank you so much for your patience and for letting me rattle on.