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Is too many drugs always the best solution ? Herceptin is so new and nobody knows about it's log term effects.
I am in a very depressed mood today. I just feel is it really worth living this life which has the darkness of life threatening disease all the time. There hasn't been a single day since my diagnosis (14 months) that I haven't cried and prayed "God please give me my old days back when I didn't have this fear hovering over me. Even one day would be great , when I can live in freedom". I am not sure if all of us feel the same way but I feel choked and I find it hard to continue to live in this mode. Even soliders are free when they are out from battle field but with cancer , the battle never ends.
I aplogize for writing my thoughts. It's just that when I say these things to people who don't have this disease , they just don't get it. Somtimes they yell, laugh or get angry at me. I just don't know how to explain in to them.
If only I could have one to one conversation with God , I would definitely ask "Where did I go wrong....?"
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