HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - Self image--here we go again

Chelee · 06-12-2006, 11:57 PM

Hi Sherry, You have had a very rough journey it sounds like. You have had more then your share and then some. But I must say, you are one very strong women to get through so much. My heart really goes out to you. I can't certainly understand why you are feeling the way that you do. I feel terrible about what I have been through and I just got started. Just diagnosed in Dec. 20-05. I have only had a mastectomy so far and chemo. So lost a breast and some hair. Nothing even close to what you have been through...I just can't imagine what that would be like.

Its so difficult to get through one thing only to have another problem pop up. My heart really does aches for you. But as bad as your feeling, you are showing many women going through hard times that as bad as it gets...you can continue on the journey and get through it as hard as it may be. I know one thing...don't hold your feelings back...it will only come back to bite you. I have been having a rough time with that..putting on a brave front for everyone..telling everyone I am fine...when I am NOT. Because they just don't understand. I have to learn to allow myself to cry...and not feel bad about it. Then move on rather I like it or not. (I know that isn't much help...but what else can we do when something else it thrown at us.)

You have come along way through some very hard times...some I am not so sure many could get through. I wish I had some inspiring words of wisdom for you...but I don't. I know as bad as things get for me...and as bad as I will feel at *times*. I have learned one thing...how much I appreciate life...and how much I want to live. So we will press on no matter what it thrown at us. So you hang in there Sherry...this too will pass and be behind you. I know that is easy to say...but look how far you have come already.

As I said early...I just started in this nightmare of a journey...and I can already see the aging taking place. Bums me out. But I so want to live that I will just have to take what I am given and make the best out of it. (Again, easier said then done...but I will press on some how.)

I do understand about your hair lose...that has really bothered me too. I always had such long thin straight blonde hair and I loved it. I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did when it feel out. But I have gotten over it because I rather have my life as much as I hate wearing a HOT wig out here in sunny CA.

But let me say how much I admire your strength to carry on though all this. Hang in there...and know how many of us support you and how much you will help others carry on by sharing your story. You have been through alot...that goes without saying. I am just really sorry that so much has been thrown at you...I know it is far from easy.

I am sending you warm and healing thoughts...and many prayers. Take care of yourself..also go easy on yourself. You have had more then your share, but I hope in time you will get through all this and finally have some peace. You sure deserve it. Just when I think I am having such a hard time...I read a story like yours...or MaryAnns....and so many others...makes me feel a shamed of myself. Hang in there.

Sending you a big hug.

chelee

06-12-2006, 11:57 PM	#4
Chelee Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southern, CA Posts: 2,511	Hi Sherry, You have had a very rough journey it sounds like. You have had more then your share and then some. But I must say, you are one very strong women to get through so much. My heart really goes out to you. I can't certainly understand why you are feeling the way that you do. I feel terrible about what I have been through and I just got started. Just diagnosed in Dec. 20-05. I have only had a mastectomy so far and chemo. So lost a breast and some hair. Nothing even close to what you have been through...I just can't imagine what that would be like. Its so difficult to get through one thing only to have another problem pop up. My heart really does aches for you. But as bad as your feeling, you are showing many women going through hard times that as bad as it gets...you can continue on the journey and get through it as hard as it may be. I know one thing...don't hold your feelings back...it will only come back to bite you. I have been having a rough time with that..putting on a brave front for everyone..telling everyone I am fine...when I am NOT. Because they just don't understand. I have to learn to allow myself to cry...and not feel bad about it. Then move on rather I like it or not. (I know that isn't much help...but what else can we do when something else it thrown at us.) You have come along way through some very hard times...some I am not so sure many could get through. I wish I had some inspiring words of wisdom for you...but I don't. I know as bad as things get for me...and as bad as I will feel at times. I have learned one thing...how much I appreciate life...and how much I want to live. So we will press on no matter what it thrown at us. So you hang in there Sherry...this too will pass and be behind you. I know that is easy to say...but look how far you have come already. As I said early...I just started in this nightmare of a journey...and I can already see the aging taking place. Bums me out. But I so want to live that I will just have to take what I am given and make the best out of it. (Again, easier said then done...but I will press on some how.) I do understand about your hair lose...that has really bothered me too. I always had such long thin straight blonde hair and I loved it. I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did when it feel out. But I have gotten over it because I rather have my life as much as I hate wearing a HOT wig out here in sunny CA. But let me say how much I admire your strength to carry on though all this. Hang in there...and know how many of us support you and how much you will help others carry on by sharing your story. You have been through alot...that goes without saying. I am just really sorry that so much has been thrown at you...I know it is far from easy. I am sending you warm and healing thoughts...and many prayers. Take care of yourself..also go easy on yourself. You have had more then your share, but I hope in time you will get through all this and finally have some peace. You sure deserve it. Just when I think I am having such a hard time...I read a story like yours...or MaryAnns....and so many others...makes me feel a shamed of myself. Hang in there. Sending you a big hug. chelee __________________ DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes. Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs. Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06 Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07 3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07 9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV. 9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa 9-29-09 Power Port Placement 10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head. 11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed 12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa. 3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed. 4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone. 5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy. Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time. 7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.