[lu ann]

Hi Chelee,

I had a transit eschemic attack (T.I.A.) the first time I had breast cancer (dx. 09/26/91). It happended during the 5th round of chemo. I was on cytoxin, methotrexate, and 5fu on day 1, methotrexate and 5 fu on day 8, with 3 weeks off, then repeat the cycle. I received 6 cycles of this treatment.

My chemo. was to fall on my 8 year olds Birthday so I asked my onc. if I could go 2 weeks instead of 3 weeks before the next cycle. She gave me the go ahead as my counts always looked good.

My daughters b'day is Mar 19 and my b'day is March 22, which is the day I had the attack. It was very bazzar. Mr husband and I had just gone to bed when I felt his arm hitting me in the face. I kept throwing it back on him before I realized it was my own arm I was throwing. He turned on the light and saw that my eyes were crossed and I was speaking in garbled sentences. He probably should have taken me to the emergency room but we waited to see the oncologist the next day.

She ordered a CT scan, which was inconclusive so I had an MRI with the same outcome. I was sent to a neurologist who ordered an arteriogram. My heart function was fine but I had scarring on my brain. I found out later that one of the chemo drugs I was on could cause blood clots.

I did not find out that the radiologist suspected brain metastasis until the middle of May. Another MRI was ordered. I asked the oncologist what the prognosis was if I had brain mets. She replied 2 years with whole brain radiation. I was totally freaked out. My children were 8, 5, and 1 year old.

The second MRI was normal. Everything had healed. I felt God's presence while I was in the MRI. I knew everything was going to be alright.

I continued to go on this rollercoaster ride of having abnormal mamograms, followed up with abnormal ultra-sounds. My surgeon suggested I have a profilactic mastectomy on my other breast. I got a second opinion from a doc. who suggested biopsy. The mass was benign.

Through the years I continued to have other health issues which include skin cancer (basil cell removed in office), cervical displasia (conization done in office), d+c dx. hyperplasia (total hysterectomy). I also had several episodes with kidney stones. Again they had to rule out renal cancer so more and more tests. Then the radiologist saw something on my sacrum which turned out to be blood vessels. You would think that with all the scanning and testing they did we would have found the reccurence of my bone mets sooner. They just didn't look in the right places and I didn't complain.

I feared going to doctors. I felt that they were just using me because I had good insurance. Meanwhile I ignored symptoms. I allowed fear to cripple me.

It has taken me a good part of the last 2 years since my recurrance to reach a calmness when dealing with this disease. I don't freak out and have to know right now what the results are from tests. I've had the last 5 months off chemo because my CT scan in Feb. showed stable disease. I had my follow-up CT scan April 24, and I see my oncologist May 5th. I really havn't given the results too much thought.

I do cry and I get scarred. But I pray and ask God to take the fear away from me and He does.

I probably have gotten way off track of what you asked from us, but I sense you are giving this disease too much power over you. You need to take charge and be comfortable with your medical providers.

I am on my 4th oncologist and 4th medical center. I went back to my origional onc. when I was dx. with the recurrance. I wasn't satisfied with the way she treated me. I went to 'Cancer Treatment Centers of America' to seek a second opinion. I received rad. tx. from there but returned home to yet another onc. who I stayed with for one year. I left on good terms and asked Him if He would be my doc if I should need hospice. He said He would welcome me back and agreed with my going to University Hosptals of Cleveland, where I could be involved in clinical trials.

Ask your current onc. for a referral to a neurologist. If they keep giving you the run-around seek another opinion. There is no reason you should feel this way. We need to trust our gut instinct and we definately need to trust our medical providers.

Love and Blessings,
Lu Ann