[Tom]

Well, I just got the kind of news I have had nightmares about since we started this journey. Mom's PET shows areas on her opposite side chest wall, colon, and hips. When we went in for Herceptin today, the oncologist grabbed me and sat me down to tell me that she would not be getting her treatment today, as the disease had obviously progressed. I begged him to let her have one last infusion, but he refused, saying "it obviously isn't working anymore". I asked him if the cancer wouldn't go wild without it, and he just stared at me. He is suggesting that we do nothing else in the way of treatment. How the hell did we go from NED in December to this?

I am devastated. We have worked so hard to prevent today's outcome, and I almost feel it was for naught. I am having a hard time keeping from vomiting. He has ordered a CT to get a handle on what's actually there, as he can find no mass of any kind on physical examination as far as the suspect area go.

I started asking about lapatinib, but he knows of absolutely no one that is receiving it anywhere in the area. It seemed that each additional question I asked drew a blanker stare than the first. If anyone has any idea what other chemo agent might be "mild" enough for Mom (82) to stand without making her deathly ill, I am all ears. This is the first time in our whole journey that I have felt totally helpless. God Bless her heart, her dementia is far enough advanced that she is unaware of how sick she is right now.

I suspect our only hope is that somehow Tykerb will be approved for general use before our time runs out. It seems so odd that she would have mets in these areas, yet no sign of anything in the bones, liver, or brain. Her brain MRI was clean. My God this is a cruel disease. I know many must be saying, give me a break she's 82, but it doesn't hurt one bit less. If anybody has any thoughts on where to turn, please take a moment and let me know. I can't bear the thought of having my heart broken like this.
Sincerely,
Tom