Maria,
You hang in there! And remember - HOPE!
As mothers our families are so used to us taking care of them. It is hard for them to take care of us. And I am sure they remember life before cancer and they wish life could go back. But unfortunately it can't, no time machines here.
When I first found the lump in my breast I didn't want anyone to know until I had a diagnosis. I caught my husband talking to his mother on the phone. I was so mad that he had gone against my wishes. I told him to grow up and be a man! I needed his support now more than ever. I also told him to suck it up and be a man, because that is what I needed. And to be honest with you he did for the most part. He is very busy and at times has gotton tied up in everything he has going on. So there are times that I have to remind him of what I need from him.
My kids, 14 and 11, were very heartbroken at first. As soon as I was diagnosed we sat them down and I told them. Because I knew telling them was the right thing to do. They have been wonderful for the last six months. I made a comment to a neighbor about how well behaved they have been for me. That was a mistake because shortly after that they starting being typical kids again. But they must have gotten that out of their system, or was it that I let them know I wasn't happy about how they were behaving, yep that was it
Have the family meeting and let everyone know how you feel and that you need their support. Tell them that you know they have stuff going on too, but you need them to treat you with love and kindness and you need them to support you. Husbands and children can be selfish and you need to communicate to them how you feel. Because we may look okay on the outside, they see that outward appearance and don't realize how we really feel. All the fears, anxieties and physical weaknesses we may have right now. You have to communicate to them.
You have to fight, you can't give up the fight! You have to fight for yourself. Put yourself first!
Please let your doctor know how you are feeling. I felt like this right after the new year. My husband was letting me down. I happened to have an appointment with the plastic surgeon at this time and I told him that I need emotional support because I wasn't getting it at home. And he called me with information a few days later and gave me three different resourses. I pulled myself out of the funk I was in, told my husband how I felt and so far I haven't felt that hopelessness again. But I know that I have places to go if I need to get help.
Hang in there! Fight and have Hope!