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Lisa1962 · 03-21-2006, 11:50 AM

I have no words of wisdom - I think that the hardest part of this entire cancer thing is the effect it has on my son - he was five when I was diagnosed and will turn 7 in a few weeks. I was diagnosed as Stage IV from the beginning - about a year ago.

I hope he doesn't become that child in school where all the teachers whisper "did you hear his mom died this summer" I HATE that he knows about Cancer and that it can kill people - I despise that he has nightmares that he has to burry me. I wonder if there will be a mother son dance at school and he'll sit there in class with his head down staring at his table - I TORTURE myself with imagining his life without me - I DON'T DO THIS ALL THE TIME - not even most of the time - but boy when the thoughts start pouring in it's hard to fight them.

I just hope that I'm around long enough to teach him the things I want to teach him - to love him enough that he'll never forget that his mom loved him more than anything else in her life - to laugh with him and fool around and play and do homework -(after a full day in the office that homework stuff is HARD) I take every chance I can to have really good moments with him - I've learned not to get as exasperated with him as I did before my diagnosis - I am more patient (when I'm not cranky because I hurt or feel sick) I tell him funny stories about me growing up and how I met daddy and silly things we did when he was a baby - all the things I imagined I'd have a lifetime to tell. They've made for some really good moments. I think the best thing thats come of this is that I am using it as an opportunity to teach him that you can't just give up - you can certainly take some time for a pity-party and then keep on going - you can have a really bad day - and then make it to the next day when it's better.

Well at least I HOPE I'm doing all that...

I am rambling a bit because this is a topic that's really hard to talk about for me... I hope it just helps to know you're not alone - I think that it's every parents fear that they might not be there for their kids

03-21-2006, 11:50 AM	#2
Lisa1962 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 41	I have no words of wisdom - I think that the hardest part of this entire cancer thing is the effect it has on my son - he was five when I was diagnosed and will turn 7 in a few weeks. I was diagnosed as Stage IV from the beginning - about a year ago. I hope he doesn't become that child in school where all the teachers whisper "did you hear his mom died this summer" I HATE that he knows about Cancer and that it can kill people - I despise that he has nightmares that he has to burry me. I wonder if there will be a mother son dance at school and he'll sit there in class with his head down staring at his table - I TORTURE myself with imagining his life without me - I DON'T DO THIS ALL THE TIME - not even most of the time - but boy when the thoughts start pouring in it's hard to fight them. I just hope that I'm around long enough to teach him the things I want to teach him - to love him enough that he'll never forget that his mom loved him more than anything else in her life - to laugh with him and fool around and play and do homework -(after a full day in the office that homework stuff is HARD) I take every chance I can to have really good moments with him - I've learned not to get as exasperated with him as I did before my diagnosis - I am more patient (when I'm not cranky because I hurt or feel sick) I tell him funny stories about me growing up and how I met daddy and silly things we did when he was a baby - all the things I imagined I'd have a lifetime to tell. They've made for some really good moments. I think the best thing thats come of this is that I am using it as an opportunity to teach him that you can't just give up - you can certainly take some time for a pity-party and then keep on going - you can have a really bad day - and then make it to the next day when it's better. Well at least I HOPE I'm doing all that... I am rambling a bit because this is a topic that's really hard to talk about for me... I hope it just helps to know you're not alone - I think that it's every parents fear that they might not be there for their kids