STRONG, BRAVE and DETERMINED
In '95 I had a tumor the size of my hand in my left breast. It wasn't "a lumP', it was a general hardness. Invasive lobular carcinoma. 4 lymph nodes out 18 malignant. I had a mastectomy and tram flap reconstructive surgery. 4 Adriamycin and 8 every 3 wks. CMF. Chest/abdomen/pelvic CT scans every 8 wks. DONE. In Aug. '98 my every 4 month blood showed VERY SLIGHTLY ELEVATED liver enzymes. I wouldn't worry about it said doc #1. 4 months later same scenario. It could be coming from the Tamoxifen you're on, said doc #2. Don't worry. 4 months later, I swear, back w/doc #1 he tells me to forget about it. I ask for a liver sono. Didn't even know what to ask for. I guess that could be substantiated. Okay, if you want, I'll write a scrip for an abdominal sonogram. That doc sent me for a CT scan. Liver biopsy followed. I was lucky they got right in in 1 try. I was not lucky in that it showed a malignancy. Multiple tumors throughout my liver, and subsequent tests showed it was growing before our eyes. I asked to be tested for Her-2NEU, trying to get in a clinical trial, thinking somehow I would be +. Docs said you can't wait. Start chemo NOW. (Besides, I didn't qualify for trials. Had too much Adriamycin.) Sept. '98 I began Taxotere. You have a very aggressive form of breast cancer. Taxotere is the most powerful weapon we have in our arsenal. It was damn tough. I had every side effect possible. Still, each 8 wk. CT scan showed some shrinkage. I got exact measurements of each and every tumor. My husband would figure the sq. root and we'd cheer. At the end of May '99 I just could not tolerate any more. (BY the way, Refresh + every single hour a day helps the tearing issue, and I would guess help the sinus problem. Ayr, also just saline and cannot be overused is great for sinus issues.) I was HER2+ 80%. I was elated. Because w/ me they knew what was causing my cancer, my defective Her2 gene. And, at the end of Sept. '98 the FDA fast-tracked Herceptin to be available for everyone. I began in Nov. '98 (side-tracked a bit my shingles due to Taxotere). Found it fast. Treated it immediately. 10 days later, after a hell of a lot of pain, I was good to go. After May '99 I continued Herceptin wkly. In Jan. '01 I started taking Herceptin triple dosages every 3 wks. I believe it has saved my life. I continue on it. I've spoken to Ginger. Neither of us feels comfortable stopping it. I see it as insulin for a diabetic. I get ECHO cardiograms every 6 months to be sure the possible heart problems are averted. I have a small amount of fluid around the heart. That remains stable, which is good. My EF (ejection fraction) is 55%, and I feel great. Occasionally my red blood cells plummet. Procrit got it right up in a wk. Now Aranesp does the job, and better. It keeps my #s up for longer. Living on Herceptin means fatigue, especially when the red cells are low. I'm 61 and have the same memory issues my 30 something daughters have. I don't think it's age, and I don't think it's chemo brain. I have lived to welcome 4 grandchildren into this world. I am active, joyful, serene, passionate about writing and getting the Message out there that WE ALL HAVE THE POWER TO HEAL. THE MIND/BODY CONNECTION IS NOT A PHENOMENON. IT IS A FACT. When FEAR strikes, as it does from time to time -- I walk right through it. I experience it if I have no choice, I even wallow for a few hours -- then I get back to basics. I consciously instruct my body to HEAL. HEAL. STAY HEALTHY AND WELL. I get back to my core. I meditate. Visualize myself far into the future, in vivid detail. I carry that image w/ me wherever I go. I feel in charge. I feel connected to my Spirit, which is all powerful. I feel connected to Life itself. I'm in sync. And I'm staying put. YOU DO THE SAME!
With love and healing energy sent to all you brave Souls out there!
ANDI
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