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What I have learned personally (since I switched onco's in the beginning of August having been with the first one 11 months) is that being a doctor is a job, just like you and me have a job. Some people love their job and make it their life's work,and some people don't do their job. Both of these types are at opposite ends of the bell curve. Most doctors are in the middle and do their job and go home. These are the types of doctors most people have. It is not bad to have this kind of doctor if (personally) you have a good relationship and you can talk to this person and they will investigate what you ask (if they don't know) and work with you. However, if you don't have that kind of relationship or are not comfortable with "telling" the doctor what you know or the doctor feels he/she is "the doctor", that is when real trouble occurs (because most people do know when they have a really bad doctor). Its the one in the middle and how you can communicate and have a working relationship together (or not) that can be great or a disaster.
Obviously, the ones that make it their life's work is the best situation as they also do their own investigating and tend to be confident in their own abilities that they relish (and desire) learning anything they can from anyone - including you. This is a real prize and when you find one, you just know.
My first doctor was one in the middle and we could not communicate (and as you on this board knows by now - I will communicate) and he was not confident to admit he did not know but would find out (this would have made him keepable).
It also drives home that you cannot be quiet when it is your life and you know something your doctor doesn't. You have to fight even if it strains the relationship so much that you have to move on (for me it was when my onco insisted that the protocol for adjuvant Herceptin via the recent ASCO meeting was 6 months from diagnosis when it was really 6 months from the last chemotherapy (now the NCI says 12 months from the last chemotherapy). At the time I was 3 1/2 months from my last chemo and I wanted my Herceptin). I secured it and had my first treatment 4 1/2 months from my last chemotherapy and the first onco agreed to give it to me after Sloan was going to give it.
So you have to get with someone you can talk to and work it out with and is confident with themselves. Open-minded. Do I think my first doctor was bad. For me - yes but one of you could go to him and get everything you want and more. I think our personalities didn't mesh and I was an afterthough as well as that he didn't like me so he had no interest in me and my case. That is a bad situation to be in and one that you have to remove yourself from because things will always be caught too late or the newest thing will be communicated 6 months after the fact (if you are the type to not keep up yourself).
Best regards
Becky
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