[CherylS]

As I was struggling to try to begin to put into meaningful words all that God has taught me so far through my illness (it's been kind of like trying to drink from a fire hydrant) a friend found a precious little book at a garage sale called "the Blessing of Illness". It summed it up better than I ever could have:

WHAT ILLNESS CAN TEACH YOU ABOUT GOD

It will teach you not to worry any more. You will learn to leave to the Father, in His love, to decide what is best for you, both today and tomorrow.

It will teach you to be dependent upon Jesus, who in illness is your only help. Only He can turn sickness into health.

It wants to teach you the mightiest prayer, which is highly esteemed in heaven: My Father, Thy will be done."

It will not let you go until you accept the cross, until you pledge yourself to it, until you have learned to say "Yes Father", and so cannot fall into despair.

It wants to teach you to humble yourself beneath the hand of God, because you recognize that "I, a sinner, need this experience".

It wants to teach you patience. Those who are patient will receive a crown, because they have endured to the end.

It wants to teach you to be meek when you are grieved by torments and hardships, so that you bear them without protest or rebellion.

It wants to teach you not to yearn for comfort and love, but to depend only upon God and to be triumphant over your irritability.

It wants to teach you to believe, even when human help has come to an end, that God is the Master of your body.

It wants to teach you not to think of yourself, but to suffer with others, to give them love and so forget your own suffering.

It wants to teach you the song in the night which brings thanks to God in suffering, because He gives us glory through suffering.

It wants to teach you to thank Him for suffering, because it prepares you for glory and brings blessings and joy without end.

It wants to teach you to bring forth the fruit for which God often looks in vain among His children, the fruit which only comes from suffering.

I guess the bottom line for me has been "do I really believe God is who He says He is?" I do. My life is in His hands. Truthfully, I am not afraid of dying. What I am afraid of is living with this and having my daughter's teenage years spent watching me fight it. He knows that. He loves her too.
I trust Him. God Bless you all.