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Dear Lisa:
First, that is a beautiful photo of you. Red is definitely your color!
You are farther down the road, but I am not far behind. I was diagnosed stage IV in May 2004. Treatment is going well. My last CT (last week) was clear, and herceptin treatments will be scaled back to once each 3 weeks. I asked my doctor about a brain scan; I have my first MRI of "la cabeza" next week. I've not had headaches or other symptoms, but seem to be getting sloppier at the keyboard. It must be really frustrating to have problems without explanation. I keep thinking that my rather sudden diminishment of tying skills has a bad news reason behind it.
Since my "good" results this week I've noticed something about my attitude. Surely I am not the only one. It seems like with some major milestones including finishing the rough chemo, finishing radiation, and now "graduating" to less frequent herceptin, it's good news - but there is a degree of not really sadness - maybe apprehension. There is a fast food ad being run here. When people in the ad think of the restaurant's sandwiches, a cartoonish red hat appears above their head (the restaurant's logo). For me, it is a cartoonish boot aimed at my rear end. I can't seem to shake the cloud and accept that I might be able to live with what cancer brings to the door.
I suppose we all have to find our own way. You've dealt with so much. Any words of wisdom?
love, PK
a newbie to this site
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