Lyn

Hi there, it is lovely of you to worry about me when you have enough to deal with, sideffects, well none as yet but I suppose early days, starting off with the low dose, my onc did ask if I wanted to go right to the full dose, the depression I have been in lately, I thought nooooo, don't think I can take much more. I had the arthrogram on my shoulder (pumped up with cortisone and anaesthetic), found out the last one I had in April, which did absolutley nothing, did exactly that because they had injected dye in my shoulder and done a CT scan, can you believe it, when I questioned what they were doing the reply was "all doctors do it differently" I should have asked what the IT was at the time. I am seeing the orthopaedic specialist next week, because ofthe problems I have been having with my right side of neck, shoulder, which were assumed to be as a result of Taxol/radiation and everything else I have had, actually are all of the symptoms of dislocated shoulder with ligament damage, when I faxed him this info he made an appointment to see me, my X-Rays were on file, but being a public hospital with our system being in a shambles, no one looks at anything, let alone the CT I had done, so when I tell him that I didn't have the treatemnt on the other shoulder he will go rank, had I not asked to give the arthrogram another go, I was looking at shoulder replacement. So with the rotten result of my biopsy, my left shoulder, right shoulder, neck aching, numb fingers, numb toes and not being able to take anti-inflammatories, not even neurofen I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and that was even doubling my anti-depressants. As if that wasn't bad enough, I came across this info on anti-convulsants (Epelim I take for nerve damage from surgery) impairing Taxanes, I had mentioned this before, well guess what, that goes for cytoxens as well, so not only the Taxotere and Taxol I had were weakened, but also the cyclophospamide, that is the A with C in 1998, the C with the CMF in 98, and Taxotere in 99 and then the Taxol this years, so is it any wonder it only stays a way for a short time, just doesn't get a strong enough dose to shift it, so that little bit left gets to grow again. I had to tell my onc this, he just said Oh, but now I am on another drug, he also thought my theory on my dislocated shoulder was very interesting, at least while we didn't know what was wrong, when we found the deep enlarged lymphs they got treated, as well as the thyroid, so things work in mysterious ways, had I not had the fall fracturing the shoulder, I wouldn't have put my other shoulder out, which brought out all these weird symptoms which uncovered the thyroid, the glands and that other thing wrong with my head, starts with a T, that is what I started the new anticonvulsants Neurontin for, so up until just recently I was taking 2 anticonvulsant drugs but I found out the later was ok. I am having the oral 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off, so been on it for 10 days now, and it is helping with my connective tissue disorder, my fingers aren't like steel claws in the morning that have rusted, but of course I happened to have the rare type, mixed CTD, that happens to be a bit of everything including Lupus and they treat that with the C and or Methotrexate, the M in CMF. And by the way, my type of dislocated shoulder is rare as well, fancy that, I am a walking guiness book of records. I have started walking around the block, Ron dragged me out the first 2 times, element of surprise, put your runners on we are going for a walk, so I don't seem to mind it at the moment and I think it has helped clear my fog of depression, I am human after all, I really felt like throwing my hands up in the air last week, sleeping forever was looking pretty good to me, but then I just snapped out of it and don't know what changed my mood swing, it may have been drug related, sounds bad doesn't it, like we are addicts, suppose we are but we have permission. Well I better finish this one here, and leave some more for next time.

Love & Hugs Lyn.