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Tom,
Your mom is lucky to have you around!
A couple of things:
1. If you don't like/trust your onc, FIND ANOTHER ONE! Yep, even in mid-treatment.
2. When I first had my lumpectomy, they took 20 nodes. 20 and they were all negative. I went on to chemo and a mastecomy for clear margins.
Yet, even with all 20 nodes neg, I developed metastasis 3 1/2 years later in my liver and bones. Later in brain and lymph nodes.
I tell you this to try and help you relieve some of your anger and any directed toward the med team. Not to say they were faultless. They could have take the sentinel only, or 20 nodes like mine. And regardless whether they were neg or pos, your Mom could still end up with mets, like me. Also, remember that even had her pathology shown Her2 + at first, she would not have been eligible for FDA-approved Herceptin at that time.
(My husband had a dream that the original BC spread through the lymph nodes in the center of the chest. Those, of course, are never biopsied.)
Who knows. Now, of course, you must focus on now. Stay educated, ask many questions before treatments, and like I said, change oncs if you need to.
This disease is all shades of gray. And the choice for me may not be as productive as the same choice for you.
Love and light,
Lisa
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