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MaryAnn,
I agree with everyone else, push for the herceptin. While Xeloda seems to be a great drug, herceptin has now been proven to significantly help early stage. There's too many docs out there that are willing to give it off label so don't let that be your deciding factor.
Best of luck with whatever you decide and welcome to this wonderful site. I'm sorry about your situation but I can't begin to tell you how this site has helped me and my wife. Rest assured that there are so many wonderful people here to help you throught this tough time.
Warmest regards,
Eric
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