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Sherry--
So sorry you've having to think of these kinds of things but glad you have a place where you feel you can ask them without the normal boo ha ha.
In addition to hospice, I'd contact either a child psychologist or one who specializes in death and dying. If you can find both in one person, that would be ideal. I have qualifications in counseling but an far from an expert with younger children or with end of life issues. Personally, I'd want input from more than one "expert" in order to feel I was making the most informed choice that I could.
If your kids are 12 or older (or close), I'd certainly recommend talking to them directly about it and asking them how they feel. Often young people experience anger when decisions are made for them when they're actually old enough to make them. It becomes very disempowering for them. Young children are a different story but I'm not sure where the age line should be if less than 12. You didn't say in this post how old they are.
Just because your conventional treatment options are about exhausted hardly means that all your options are. I just finished watching the video of "What the Bleep Do We Know" and it sure changes ones thinking about the nature of reality and health. (I'm taking an alternative medicine course this quarter for my doctoral program.)
There are many, many options that are likely available to you, some of which you may have had no idea even existed. Or maybe you do but from your post, I'm assuming not. Some of these literally work "miracles," depending on factors we have little understanding or knowledge of. The good news to them is that they offer little to no risk. If it truly is your time, by taking hold of everything you can in the meantime, your remaining time should escalate tremendously in quality. (Considerable solid study data to validate this.)
Allopathic medicine is hardly the only kind of effective treatment available, although it's the one we know best and tend to think of as the only one. It isn't. Who knows, maybe you're at the medical place you are to open your mind to new possibilities. That may be the silver lining to a cloud that seems totally dark. It sure helps me to think of it that way. (Also recommend Dr. Andrew Weil's book, Health and Healing for an overview of alternative therapies and some fascinating exploration of the mind/body relationship which is also discussed in the movie mentioned above.)
I wish you the very best of everything and a surprising, enlightening, and full recovery!
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