HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

05-08-2005, 06:33 PM

Happy Mother's Day to you too! Unfortunatey for me this one is a hard one. My mom just died April 27 after a 24 year battle with breast cancer. Since I have just been through this I thought I should respond to your post. My mom really wanted to be at home. She made that very clear. Which was fine with us because that way we could spend more time with her. I had been visiting my mom almost every day, helping get meals together and helping my dad do housework. Although myself and my brothers are adults, my children would go with me when I visited. They always looked forward to seeing Nana and Pap. My girls are 3 and 6. In January of this year mom's onc decided there was no more treatment for her. It was just making her too sick. She had mets to lungs, bone and the worst was the liver. The Dr. suggested we contact Hospice. Not an easy thing to do. Mom was so depressed. She didn't want to die. She was 64 and acted like she was 34. She was always singing and dancing and acting goofy with the kids. She liked to have fun. But she just didn't have the energy to fight anymore. She had always been so strong it was hard to see her weakening. Over the next few weeks we did contact Hospice. They were very nice and changed all her medicines immediately. Before they came she was sick in her stomach and couldn't eat because of the liver mets. She had started to have some pain. When they came and gave her medicine it made such a difference. She felt so much better. She was able to eat again and do a few little things around the house. She even was able to make small meals for her and my dad. They made those last months so much easier for her. What wonderful people they are. They had a nurses aide that would come 3 days a week to help mom with her shower (although she wanted to do it all herself). She was very independant and had a hard time admitting that she needed help with anything. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way with mom. I really tried to take advantage of those last months with her. If I could have moved in I would have. I just wanted to be close to her. And the kids always wanted to go see her. My 6 year old was more aware of what was happening than the 3 year old but it didn't really seem to scare her. I always talked with her about it and answered questions honestly when she would ask. It's not easy. With my mom she really didn't get bad until the last 2 days. And at that point she was sleeping most of the time. She had liquid oxycontin for pain and that would put her to sleep. She said she wasn't in pain though. She was always afraid that she would lay around and suffer with terrible pain but she really didn't. When there's mets to the liver it's quite fast. Which was a blessing. I hope this helps you somehow. You and your family will be in my prayers.

05-08-2005, 06:33 PM	#6
_Penny_ Guest Posts: n/a	Happy Mother's Day to you too! Unfortunatey for me this one is a hard one. My mom just died April 27 after a 24 year battle with breast cancer. Since I have just been through this I thought I should respond to your post. My mom really wanted to be at home. She made that very clear. Which was fine with us because that way we could spend more time with her. I had been visiting my mom almost every day, helping get meals together and helping my dad do housework. Although myself and my brothers are adults, my children would go with me when I visited. They always looked forward to seeing Nana and Pap. My girls are 3 and 6. In January of this year mom's onc decided there was no more treatment for her. It was just making her too sick. She had mets to lungs, bone and the worst was the liver. The Dr. suggested we contact Hospice. Not an easy thing to do. Mom was so depressed. She didn't want to die. She was 64 and acted like she was 34. She was always singing and dancing and acting goofy with the kids. She liked to have fun. But she just didn't have the energy to fight anymore. She had always been so strong it was hard to see her weakening. Over the next few weeks we did contact Hospice. They were very nice and changed all her medicines immediately. Before they came she was sick in her stomach and couldn't eat because of the liver mets. She had started to have some pain. When they came and gave her medicine it made such a difference. She felt so much better. She was able to eat again and do a few little things around the house. She even was able to make small meals for her and my dad. They made those last months so much easier for her. What wonderful people they are. They had a nurses aide that would come 3 days a week to help mom with her shower (although she wanted to do it all herself). She was very independant and had a hard time admitting that she needed help with anything. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way with mom. I really tried to take advantage of those last months with her. If I could have moved in I would have. I just wanted to be close to her. And the kids always wanted to go see her. My 6 year old was more aware of what was happening than the 3 year old but it didn't really seem to scare her. I always talked with her about it and answered questions honestly when she would ask. It's not easy. With my mom she really didn't get bad until the last 2 days. And at that point she was sleeping most of the time. She had liquid oxycontin for pain and that would put her to sleep. She said she wasn't in pain though. She was always afraid that she would lay around and suffer with terrible pain but she really didn't. When there's mets to the liver it's quite fast. Which was a blessing. I hope this helps you somehow. You and your family will be in my prayers.