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Patty....
Survival guilt, that's me. And I ask the same question as you do, "why me?" . Why am I still alive when so many have passed on? This is the ONLY time I have ever asked this question.
For me, I know I'm not looking for an answer exactly. There is a part of me still in shock or denial that I am indeed NED and feeling good, after brain mets dx/ plus over two yrs ago. I often ask myself "How can this be?"
I have a friend who tells me she knew this would happen because she prayed for a miracle for me.... But, that doesn't make any sense, as EVERYONE is praying for a 'miracle' for themselves or someone else who is ill, and still, they die.
Years ago, I decided that this whole business of bc was a crap shoot, who will respond well or not, who will recur or not, etc. And so it follows that our time will come, too, Patty. But for today, it's just not the right time. Not a totally satisfactory explaination but that is all I've got to hang on to for now.
hugs,
pattyz xoxox
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