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It is good to be able to share our feelings and not be judged. I can appreciate everything you all have said. I was 54 when Dx. now 57. My husband suffers with deep depression and that is hard on everyone. When we are the focus it makes them feel no one cares for them. My husband has had major shoulder surgery, 2 back surgeries and is facing knee surgery next week during the 3 years I have been in/out mostly in treatment. We have had to depend on friends so much. Some days we lived on a wing and a prayer. Our son is now 25 bought a house and moved out when I got Dx. and didn't know how to deal with both of us being ill. He feels life has not been fair to us. He would drive in the driveway and call on his cell phone so I could put my wig on before he came into the house. He told me he never wanted to see my with no hair, or be ill and never has. I worked in a hospital for 25 years and saw way too many people that went through cancer and didn't make it. I wasn't scared of dying but how long and hard would the journey be getting there and leaving my hubby and son behind to fin for themselves. I have lots to be thankful and that is how I have to look at it. I didn't expect to still be here now but I am and doing pretty much what I want. I believe this will be the hardest journey we will ever travel. It has made me slow down and smell the flowers and appreciate life in a different way. As far as for the family we need to stay close to them. A doctor told me to keep them close by calling my son every day or few days, if he doesn't call, ask him to go to lunch with me, invite him out for a meal don't let him stay away. Ask my hubby to do things for me as it makes him feel wanted and is helping out. He hangs out and takes in the clothes, does the stirring if I am cooking to save my lymphedema arm. When he asks me to go with him I try to go even if I don't feel up to it but then if I am tired or not feel up to par I tell him I will go but we have to make it a short ride or visit. That has helped me and them both. When the children are living in the home then its do things with them. We are both on disability and that was hard to deal with but we didn't ask to be on it so why feel guilty. We worked all our lives but wasn't able to do it until we were 65. Prayer and my Christian friends have helped me so much. I do volunteer work and some times its only calling another cancer patient and listen to them they brighen my day and I do the same for them. Some day we will have a new body and this one will be gone. I hope this has not be boring and will help some of you. Hugs, Sandy
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