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Rose,
I am stunned. I don't know if anything I can say will help, but I'll try.
You can only take it in small steps for now. Just get through one day at a time, and I'm sure that sounds easier that it is. Don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault. You may never know why he choose to do this, and in the end it doesn't matter. You must survive and it will a lot of energy and focus, so concentrate on getting up each morning and taking care of your children and yourself. The understanding may or may not come later, but for now do what you have to do to live.
WE WILL HELP.
Love and Hugs,
Lolly
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