HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - Thinking of you on your birthday, KansasRose

07-09-2004, 12:59 PM

Dear Lisa and everyone: Thank you for the nice posting for my birthday. I haven't been on this site for a long while. I am reminded daily of a statement I made prior to the death of my husband; that losing someone you love to an illness is, I think, harder than actually having an illness! And, I have found this, once again, to be true. My husband's death in May has proven to be the hardest, most painful experience I have gone through.

I continue on herceptin each week; my mugga scan is down to 48, but has only dropped one percentage point in 6 months. I am so grateful for Herceptin, as I face being the only parent to our two children and need to keep plugging away for a long long while.

The highlight of my week is often spending an hour or so with the wonderful nurses at my doctor's office. Their kindness and support of me have helped keep me upright.

For the time being, the thing that I seek a cure from is something I'll never recover from, and that is a broken heart. My husband was a wonderful man with a terrible illness: depression. Despite his illness, he treated me and our two children with kindness, respect and devotion. He worked so hard to overcome his disease, harder than anyone I have ever seen. He often said to me, 'if you only knew how hard I try. This is so hard'. For whatever reason, I was born with an extra large amount of hope or faith, or something like that. My two children are my life; my friends, my sisters and father, my job, my church, my neighborhood... they all keep me going. Losing Gordon, however, was like losing the biggest part of my foundation. I feel wobbly and off balance without him. He helped me become a stronger, better person. For Gordon and I, when I was diagnosed in March, 2003, we began to both worry about the possibility of being separated by death. Gordon often would say, 'there is no way you will die.... I won't allow it'. He would not even discuss the possibility that he might have outlived me. He was terrified of losing me, and I have always been afraid of losing him.

For all of you ladies on this board, I offer one piece of advice: tell those that you love, that you love them, and tell them often. If something needs to be said, say it. If something needs to be done, do it. Time is so so limited. I wish daily that I could have kissed Gordon one more time, and told him how much I loved him.

07-09-2004, 12:59 PM	#2
Rose Guest Posts: n/a	Dear Lisa and everyone: Thank you for the nice posting for my birthday. I haven't been on this site for a long while. I am reminded daily of a statement I made prior to the death of my husband; that losing someone you love to an illness is, I think, harder than actually having an illness! And, I have found this, once again, to be true. My husband's death in May has proven to be the hardest, most painful experience I have gone through. I continue on herceptin each week; my mugga scan is down to 48, but has only dropped one percentage point in 6 months. I am so grateful for Herceptin, as I face being the only parent to our two children and need to keep plugging away for a long long while. The highlight of my week is often spending an hour or so with the wonderful nurses at my doctor's office. Their kindness and support of me have helped keep me upright. For the time being, the thing that I seek a cure from is something I'll never recover from, and that is a broken heart. My husband was a wonderful man with a terrible illness: depression. Despite his illness, he treated me and our two children with kindness, respect and devotion. He worked so hard to overcome his disease, harder than anyone I have ever seen. He often said to me, 'if you only knew how hard I try. This is so hard'. For whatever reason, I was born with an extra large amount of hope or faith, or something like that. My two children are my life; my friends, my sisters and father, my job, my church, my neighborhood... they all keep me going. Losing Gordon, however, was like losing the biggest part of my foundation. I feel wobbly and off balance without him. He helped me become a stronger, better person. For Gordon and I, when I was diagnosed in March, 2003, we began to both worry about the possibility of being separated by death. Gordon often would say, 'there is no way you will die.... I won't allow it'. He would not even discuss the possibility that he might have outlived me. He was terrified of losing me, and I have always been afraid of losing him. For all of you ladies on this board, I offer one piece of advice: tell those that you love, that you love them, and tell them often. If something needs to be said, say it. If something needs to be done, do it. Time is so so limited. I wish daily that I could have kissed Gordon one more time, and told him how much I loved him.