|
Nicki,
Sounds like you are really searching to make sense of all this. Having cancer can prod you on to develop a greater understanding of yourself and life and that is a good thing about cancer.
Organized religion is not the answer for everyone but it does feel nice to be part of a community, with other people who more or less share your outlook and quest for a meaningful life. One added benefit is they will help you when you need it and you can help them.
So many of us were raised in a religious tradition and find going back to it is comforting.
I have always been on the outside looking in at religions, never felt comfortable in the one I was given as a child.
I find spiritual fulfillment most often in nature: under the stars at night, on walk in a quiet woods, or empty beach in winter time. I see then that I am tiny and just part of something enormous. Still working on this and won't stop until I do.
P.S. Definitely try an antidepressant for a while. This experience throws you for a loop, disrupting your brain chemistry. Celexa was a good one for me. Take it in the morning! It helped me stop being in a tearful panic so I could get on with living and fighting cancer.
|