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Hi,
I have been at this wretched game for 6 yrs. Initially dignosed in 1998 stage1, recurrence in 2000 to the bones. Treated with AC/taxol for 6mths and then on herceptin with Navelbine for 18 mths followed by xeloda and hercepin for 6mths. MRI revealed a meningioma in 2003 June, went for a 2nd opinion to MD Anderson and they said the same too. After 2 spliiting headaches in Jan 2004 was diagnosed with brain mets instead of menigioma. Had the 5cm lump removed in FEb 2004 which turned out to be both harmonal and her2 positive. Had 28 rounds of radiation,lost a bit of vision the top left hand corner of my right eye and was put back on Xeloda and herceptin along with Zometa and femara.
My markers are rising again and am feeling depressed and do not get much sleep. Think I am going thru a depression or a black hole and can't seem to get out of it. Sometimes I feel that has not given me many breaks, I too am tired of playing this cat and mouse game. Is there anything I can do to help myself. The meditation that I used to do doesnt seem to make me calm anymore.It is very easy for people to say stay positive, two words easily spoken but very difficult to keep up. Being a sensible person I know all this shouting, crying,frustration is only bad for me but I just cant stop these emotions from coming up and it is happening more frequently. In fact I do not want my relatives to call as end up crying and feel drained. I am writing to you all because you all are or have been thru this and are in a better position to advise me. Is ther something out there that I am not aware of. Any replies would be wonderful.
Thank you and hugs.
Ragini
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