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Andrea Barnett Budin · 01-06-2016, 01:53 PM

Juls, Just wanted to say I am waiting anxiously to hear you stand with all that's going on with you. You are in my thoughts. I saw on the other thread you posted and mention, NEED INPUT, that you got some top suggestions and input. I have nothing to add.

But want to know how you're doing.

Having my own issues and finding, yet again, that they bandy words about and we are totally focused in to their every word and to their various nuances.

Somehow we need to stop doing that. I saw my wonderful onc on 12/29 and asked him about a phrase on my script for my 12/25 CT scan that I had never heard before. Omental caking was listed as the reason for my scan.

I pondered it for weeks and finally succumbed to google and -- just peak. Horrifying! An array of dastardly possibilities. First 24 hrs I was consoling myself with, Well you've had a good run. 20 yrs since initial dx. Then, I got mad.

When I asked about the phrase, onc said (nurse practitioner who wrote it just threw that out... you can use lots of phrases. mesentary blah blah).
I am a very literal person. In general. And specifically when it comes to my bc.

So I'm saying, Juls, try not to hone in on their every word. Cause they don't seem to get the importance of what they say, or write.

Of course once I had the CT, the radiologist ran w/the "suggested" phrase and added to my angst.

I got same day report, but still it stung.

Now I'm told I have a touch of glaucoma. Very beginning stage. So I felt good after talking to oncological surgeon on the 12/28 and was a mess two days later with my potential blindness.

I have decided -- it'll all work out. Until I know differently, I am going with I will be fine! That's my best advice to you, Juls.

I am still waiting to hear your update and telling myself YOU WILL BE FINE. IT'LL ALL WORK OUT. DON'T BE PREMATURE IN REACTING. TAKE YOUR TIME, COLLECT INFORMATION AND RESPOND WITH FULL ON POSITIVITY.

Please give it your best try anyway.

My thoughts are with you in the meantime, in case you wondered.

Big hug,
Andi

01-06-2016, 01:53 PM	#43
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Re: The power of words Juls, Just wanted to say I am waiting anxiously to hear you stand with all that's going on with you. You are in my thoughts. I saw on the other thread you posted and mention, NEED INPUT, that you got some top suggestions and input. I have nothing to add. But want to know how you're doing. Having my own issues and finding, yet again, that they bandy words about and we are totally focused in to their every word and to their various nuances. Somehow we need to stop doing that. I saw my wonderful onc on 12/29 and asked him about a phrase on my script for my 12/25 CT scan that I had never heard before. Omental caking was listed as the reason for my scan. I pondered it for weeks and finally succumbed to google and -- just peak. Horrifying! An array of dastardly possibilities. First 24 hrs I was consoling myself with, Well you've had a good run. 20 yrs since initial dx. Then, I got mad. When I asked about the phrase, onc said (nurse practitioner who wrote it just threw that out... you can use lots of phrases. mesentary blah blah). I am a very literal person. In general. And specifically when it comes to my bc. So I'm saying, Juls, try not to hone in on their every word. Cause they don't seem to get the importance of what they say, or write. Of course once I had the CT, the radiologist ran w/the "suggested" phrase and added to my angst. I got same day report, but still it stung. Now I'm told I have a touch of glaucoma. Very beginning stage. So I felt good after talking to oncological surgeon on the 12/28 and was a mess two days later with my potential blindness. I have decided -- it'll all work out. Until I know differently, I am going with I will be fine! That's my best advice to you, Juls. I am still waiting to hear your update and telling myself YOU WILL BE FINE. IT'LL ALL WORK OUT. DON'T BE PREMATURE IN REACTING. TAKE YOUR TIME, COLLECT INFORMATION AND RESPOND WITH FULL ON POSITIVITY. Please give it your best try anyway. My thoughts are with you in the meantime, in case you wondered. Big hug, Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...