[Jackie07]

Father-in-law had taken good care of my late Mother-in-law for a good while (driving her everywhere for several years; 2 years home health care; 3 years in the nursing home where he visited twice a day to help feed her lunch/supper). Not long after her funeral, when he finally got over his depressive mood, one day he suddenly announced that he's going to locate a woman (in her late 40's?) he had met while helping Mother-in-law deliver Avon several years prior.

He did not find the lady at her old address. But he snapped out of the depression soon after. That happened 4 1/2 years ago. Now FIL is 90 1/2, and I've not heard him mentioning anything about it ever since.

I truly believe the focus needs to be on the well being of the surviving spouse instead of the deceased or the feelings of other people (family members/relatives/friends/...) except young children/teens.

Do need to admit that I've been told that I don't think like most people. When I was in a semi-comatose state in ICU after a long brain surgery in summer, 1990, I'd tell hubby to go date the nurses who were helping me. (Of course I did not have any memory of it. I had told him before the surgery that it's OK for him to find a new love/wife in case I didn't make it even though I'd also told him a bunch of Chinese ghost stories about how a deceased wife would haunt her unfaithful husband. The stories had been told a couple of years prior (just after our wedding?) and didn't scare him as he didn't think Chinese ghosts would have any power over a Gringo ...