[karen z]

Linn,
I am working on many of the same issues. I have been anxious for as far back as I can remember (as was my mom and her mom). Although I did get depressed before bc/divorce (not related but occurred the same day in 2005- not kidding you) I found myself about one year after my diagnosis/divorce waking up and realizing all that had happened and would be happening. I never really had time to "grieve" the divorce that first year as I was quite busy with an operation, chemo, Herceptin, radiation...........and on and on (and raising a child- although my child has a dad that is wonderful with her). So, I went on an anti-depressant about a year after everything hit and I must work on my self-talk a lot (alone and often in therapy). I do find that therapy helps and my insurance will cover if the individual is in my plan. But over the last few years- since 2006 or so I have really struggled with depression (and my only daughter is getting ready to go to college out of state!) and things are not the best right now. But, again, I am trying hard to put things in perspective (I am still my daughter's mom- but will live in another state and visit and learn how to Skype; no job is without its major stressors; despite the divorce and feelings of failure that came with it I am a worthy person and try to help others. And, finally, I have many things to be grateful for and I NEED to be grateful for them). So, I find JML a major inspiration as well as many others on the site and amy trying hard to gain perspective and "work on myself". You are not alone.