[KDR]

Friends,
Thanks for your all your thoughts. Concerns. Interest. Calls. PMs.
I found out, too, via discharge nurse, that I had a collapsed lung and a hematoma removed from the right one. I have no feeling in the right side of my abdomen. They say it will return.
Each day, I am stronger. My upper body took a huge unexpected hit: chest tube, lung collapse, emergency thoracotomy (that comes with a five-inch scar and a smaller one where tube was), and then another small incision in abdomen for the ablation. So I do upper body yoga exercises, reaching to get out of this place, letting my body tell me my limits. However, I am no stranger to PTSD, that is post traumatic stress disorder, and I have it AGAIN. I remember being wheeled into surgery, so calm, so reassured, so READY with such confidence. In a split second my world was hijacked again. More work to be done on that front. I will get to the bottom of it: how it happened, who was at the controls, etc.
It is a given. We are here to learn from each other: no procedures around July 4. Not a doctor to be found, except some mature ones well into their fellowships have seen me since I nearly died. Right after I was put in a room, every doctor was gone, gone, gone.
Every day I push a little more. Intubation area still painful as I have that chemo thin-skin. All this and I was still recovering from the liver biopsy between the ribs, done ten days earlier.
As I've learned, the blood, from many sources, will become my own. I never had a position on transfusing, but glad someone was there to make the decision for me. It was one of those items I could never really commit to--whether to accept blood or not. When I get the final report, I will know how many pints I received.

I am walking, doing breathing exercises, but missing the pool and ocean and will for two more weeks, at least. I am very active and this really stole a chunk of my summer.

I keep listening to Pink's GREAT ESCAPE. I really feel like the King Of The Great Escape, at times. Then I listen to it because I need to know I CAN BE the King Of The Great Escape. We get our inspiration where we can, right?

Listen if you'd like, it may be your inspiration, too--
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wl5-audkPY

Added: When my daughter was three, she had heart surgery and her thoracotomy scar curves around her left shoulder. It looks like an exclamation point. The surgeons worked from her back so she would be saved an unsightly scar in or around the breast. Now we match, but mine is on the bra strap curve. Just spoke to my dermatologist, and she is going to erase as much as possible. I LOVE HER.

Love
Karen