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Re: The power of your thoughts
Andi...
If anyone can focus her positive healthy energy...and resist the temptation to worry...it's you!
My gut tells me that the "new finding" is benign. But...just to be sure...I'll be focusing my positive energy your way too.
We have another thing in common it seems. We both had wise fathers who trusted our goodness. My Dad used to tell me, "If you do what you honestly think is right...don't look back. You did the best you could do."
Your friend who was mourning the loss of her hairdresser on your time...unreal! Almost as unbelievably...I only told anyone outside of our group here, and my immediate family, about my brain lesions about 2 weeks ago. There was nothing they could do...and people so often say stupid things when they don't know what else to say...
I really didn't need that!
Anyway...since telling those friends...I sense a distance and some actual anger from a few of them... for not letting them be "in on things" I guess. I know feeling a little hurt for not being included in "the secret" is natural...for like a few minutes...but, in fairness...I did apologize for not sharing sooner. I even explained my reasons. I assured them that it was because I needed to cope on my own...something they should be used to by now. I didn't have the energy or emotional fortitude to reassure them AND do everything I needed to do to heal. So the anger...the silence...Really? I, who have a brain tumor and metastatic breast cancer should have been more in tune with your feelings? You have clearly been wronged... I let you down.
Yeah right!
Like you, Andi, some people who were supposed to be my friends will just need to go on without me. They have become joy suckers.
Now, I know curiosity killed the cat, but...I reeeaaaally won't sleep soundly until I know where that mouth guard was! If it's too embarrassing to post...PM me...but I neeeed to know. This comes from the woman who recently found her datebook in the knife drawer. Why? God only knows! It was missing for 3 days before I even noticed it in the drawer that I open 2 or 3 times a day. Which means it didn't even seem out of place to me when I did see it. 
Thinking of you...praying for you...
Love you, my friend!
Denise
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1/11-needle biopsy
2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes
3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH!
4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks
8/26/11 finished Taxol!!!
10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon
11/11 radiation x28
1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY!
1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :(
2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds
4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon
6/8/12 Return to work :)
6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :(
7/10/12 last Herceptin
7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm
8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb
8/23/12 Back to work
12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair
1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY!
1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair
1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm
5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis
5/10/13 begin weaning steroids
6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working!
6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear!
7/5/13 finally off steroids!!
7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin!
7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids
7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again!
8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :)
9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed
“ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert
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