[CoolBreeze]

Hi Joanne,

I've been living with mets a couple of years now. I've learned a couple things. One is never to interpret your doctors/techs/nurses emotional states when it comes to you. They might very well be thinking of missing their lunch as they examine you and thinking "my God, I'm starving, am I ever going to get to eat?" and you are (naturally) interpreting that as "he's feeling it's hopeless." They should be thinking of only you but they aren't always. They are human too. So I never go by what I think somebody's emotion is, I only go by their words.

But you have had some words, huh?

The doctor who gave you a "less than a year" statement - I don't know what to say about that except that doctor doesn't know how much time you have. My oncologist will not guess what my time on earth is and how can he? He has been an oncologist for 17 years, he's seen people live longer than expected, shorter than expected, seen people survive who shouldn't, people die who shouldn't.....how can he know what will happen to me? They can tell you statistics but as we all know, we are not statistics. They don't know what category you belong to so guessing this early is just wrong for any doctor to do, if you ask me.

Now, saying that you have a life-ending illness is honesty, saying WHEN it will happen is dishonest. Unless you are within weeks or showing signs of end-stages, they have no reason to say that. And, you clearly aren't.

I have had mets in my liver, abutting the portal vein, had resection surgery, ablation, had it grow back, on chemo #7 - and nobody will make guesses with me. I've been living with it for 2+ years now (cancer for four) and I'm sure I have time left. Statistically, I have one year left, but statistics are for mathematicians, not people.

There are many chemos they can try that will shrink that cancer down and then do the surgery safely. Am I reading your post right - you have only had three chemo doses? You are at the very start of this and so have a long way to go. It is natural to start thinking about your mortality and adjusting for that but your oncologist who said there are many other treatments and chemos to go are right. That's the one I would pick.

I am on my 7th now. Remember, your cancer may be in your uterus (mine is in the liver) but it's still breast cancer and should be treated like breast cancer.

I can't tell you what decisions to make, only the way my mind works since you asked.... I think since radiation is irreversible and holds a chance of difficult damage, that will impact the rest of your life, so personally, I might stick with chemo, see if you can shrink it and then see if they'll do a hysterectomy. The fact that you can do surgery is a gift a lot don't get. I'd try to stay away from bladder/rectum surgery if possible as that would impact just about everything you do.

If you look at your signature, you got fevers in '07. So maybe it's just something your body does when stressed.

I have advice about your chemo side effects, having been through it. First, I am not a naturalist/alternative treatment person AT ALL. But, l-glutamine has helped with neuropathy and studies done in UCLA seem to show that's true. You buy it in powder form at a health food store, and then take it the day of chemo, the day after, and the day after that, in large doses. You can google for the dosage if you like. It does not interact with anything you are taking. After three years of straight chemo, seven different ones, I hardly have any neuropathy. It worked the best on the carbo/taxotere which is what you are on. It works almost immediately so you'll know.

As I have gotten sicker, I am less able to drink the glasses of water necessary so I've slacked off but you can try it. My neuropathy is very mild anyway, mostly muscle twitches (fasculations) which are super rare anyway. I don't hardly notice it.

Also, c.diff is a HUGE problem in hospitals, in cancer patients with low white counts (which might be why you are having fevers) and in people who take antibiotics. I strongly urge you to take probiotics (culturelle and florastor) and eat yogurt daily. Trust me, c.diff is not an infection that you want, and I got mine after I had a bladder infection.

Those things may or may not help as preventatives but none will hurt. (make sure the florastor is the capsule kind as it's a yeast). After I had it I was told to take it by my infectionous disease specialist and you can google and see it for yourself. My c.diff was so bad I was in intensive care, I was told I was going to have my colon taken out if my blood pressure dropped one more point. Thank goodness it didn't, but I was ill for months after that, sicker than cancer has ever made me. And, I can't help but think my QOL would be better now if I'd never gotten it. If you start having any diarrhea, immediately ask for a culture.

Good luck. The whole thing is really scary, nightmarish even. But oddly enough, we can adjust. It just takes some time, much more than four months. Once you make a decision you will feel a bit better. Personally, I would go with the doctor who says there are a lot more treatments rather than one who is negative and putting you in the grave in a year. It is highly unlikely for you to be dead in a year at this point. And, there are a lot of treatments left to you as I well know. Including the famous TDM1.

Have they done a biopsy to see if you are still HER2+? Cancer can change, and if you are, maybe perjeta is in order. Seems to have helped me and my cancer seemed intractible.

I think it was very smart of you to get a second opinion. I think hearing other options or a tie-breaker will be helpful. And, I personally would not choose a negative/you're gonna die/by the numbers type of doctor. That's just my style - I want to hear the truth and what statistics say of course, but I don't want a doctor who doesn't believe that I can beat those odds. My oncologist is a believer in me. So I would be wary of the gyn/onc and her certainty of your lifespan.

Just my opinion and I wish you the best of luck. Tell your daughters, they don't need the exact details of the date of your death. They will want to know.

*hugs*