[IrvineFriend]

Thanks everyone for the support and encouraging words. My guy is a great person; he came into my life when I was diagnosed. We were friends/co-workers initially and when diagnosed, told me his true feelings and that he wanted to be with me to help through the ordeal and see where we would be in a year. I may be a different person then but he was willing to wait to find out. He's cooked, cleaned, drove me to appointments, washed my clothes, he even paints my toe nails. But because I'm a strong woman, his expectations of what I can do (work 15-hour days, serious hikes, and lots of activities) I feel like a failure because some weekends I want nothing more than to stay home in PJs and I'm not there as a lover when he's so giving.

But he recently lost his job, so I get to be the support for him now. So it's normalized our relationship more. Would never wish this on him, but now that we're not co-workers, we don't bring home work stress and now talk about other things - normal life.

So we're trying and I'd be a fool to chase him off again because I'm too tired and too proud to accept help or accept the changes in what I'm capable of doing/not doing right now.

I appreciate all your support and friendship. You guys always understand all this stuff!