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Jean · 03-13-2013, 11:21 PM

Dear Irvine,
Well one thing is for certain you will see the character of your significant other, lover, family, and friends after being dx. with breast cancer. While it is certainly not easy for the care givers, lovers, husbands, etc. to be on the other side of the disease, let's keep in mind you are the patient. You are the one having treatment. At the same time, I have always believed that when I was dx. my husband and family (and those who love me) were also dx. with breast cancer.

There maybe some who just can not understand the disease or the complex feelings of dread that a newly dx. woman feels during those early days. It takes time for us to wrap our brains around our own dx.

It is like anything else in life, when the going gets rough, the rough get going...well those who drop out from our lives when the going gets rough - one has to ask, "were they ever really there for us?" Seems simple, but consider this thought - how good was the relationship prior to the dx.? You may now be able to see the cracks and flaws that were always there.

Adversity will always show you the real heart of a person.
Be patient with yourself and know you are NOT ugly, nor are you selfish....you are a brave woman fighting breast cancer.

Sending you hugs,
Jean

03-13-2013, 11:21 PM	#3
Jean Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,154	Re: Relationship challenges Dear Irvine, Well one thing is for certain you will see the character of your significant other, lover, family, and friends after being dx. with breast cancer. While it is certainly not easy for the care givers, lovers, husbands, etc. to be on the other side of the disease, let's keep in mind you are the patient. You are the one having treatment. At the same time, I have always believed that when I was dx. my husband and family (and those who love me) were also dx. with breast cancer. There maybe some who just can not understand the disease or the complex feelings of dread that a newly dx. woman feels during those early days. It takes time for us to wrap our brains around our own dx. It is like anything else in life, when the going gets rough, the rough get going...well those who drop out from our lives when the going gets rough - one has to ask, "were they ever really there for us?" Seems simple, but consider this thought - how good was the relationship prior to the dx.? You may now be able to see the cracks and flaws that were always there. Adversity will always show you the real heart of a person. Be patient with yourself and know you are NOT ugly, nor are you selfish....you are a brave woman fighting breast cancer. Sending you hugs, Jean __________________ Stage 1, Grade 1, 3/30/05 Lumpectomy 4/15/05 - 6MM IDC Node Neg. (Sentinel node) ER+ 90% / PR-, Her2+++ by FISH Ki-67 40% Arimidex 5/05 Radiation 32 trt, 5/30/05 Oncotype DX test 4/17/06, 31% high risk TOPO 11 neg. 4/06 Stopped Arimidex 5/06 TCH 5/06, 6 treatments Herceptin 5/06 - for 1 yr. 9/06 Completed chemo Started Femara Sept. 2006 Last edited by Jean; 03-13-2013 at 11:26 PM..