[NanaJoni]

Tammy - You are going through so much right now so, of course, you are suffering from anxiety. Just the dex used to put me over the top and you are dealing with so much right now. The meds, lack of sleep, side effects, doing a clinical trial and just throw in the pressures of Christmas. Luckily the Christmas excitement may ease up some tomorrow. You know you can always vent here and will find many who understand and have been on that very same rollercoaster. I know you yearn for some level time and, hopefully, you'll find a way to let go and get some rest very soon. I remember freaking out in the ER after my first TCH treatment. The ER nurse said in her best East Tennessee twang "Honey, did they give you something for your nerves?". I bit her head off and said very rudely "Yes, they gave me xanax but I only have to take it AS NEEDED!". She very sweetly twanged "Honey, you need it." After we (me, my husband and the nurse) stopped laughing, I felt much better. And then I took the xanax 3 times a day for several days and the bad times passed. Then they came back several times (and occasionally still do) but I was much more able to handle it. I'll be keeping you and your beautiful family in my prayers and will be waiting to hear from you again soon.